Bill Cosby, the famous American comedian and still married to the same woman, said that these gender differences – that women are not just men who can have babies and men are not just women who spike footballs – give marriage its vitality, its dynamics and its delights…He says, “Americans may like the style called unisex, but the wiser French have a devout appreciation of the wonder they call la difference.”
A true understanding of these gender differences should therefore lead us to the proper notion of a marriage. While many people view marriage as a fusion, making two separate individuals one, we must still keep our own personality and deal with our own problems ourselves.
“Marriage is ultimately about two relatively whole individuals coming together to create a union that can be even greater than the sum of the parts. But each of us must always be aware that a lack of self-confidence is own separate job to fix. We can look to our mate for support, but not for magical solutions.”
Notice the Small Stuff
“Don’t sweat the small stuff” is probably one advice that does not always work for marriage, because it is important to notice the small stuff, if the marriage were to flourish. Steve Carter cites an important fact about relationships: most of the real work in relationships is taking place in quieter moments in smaller spaces.
Examples would be:
> avoiding bringing up the defective garage door while your husband is rushing to meet a deadline and needs to focus on his project for a few hours;
> attending to the kids and keeping them away from the kitchen while your wife prepares dinner;
> offering to pick up your husband’s shirts at the dry cleaner’s because he forgot to do it yesterday;
> filling up the car tank if you know that your husband has to drive out of town on a client visit;
> taking your wife dancing because she’s always loved to dance even if you have two left feet and have always hated it.
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