2. Eat at least two servings of a fruit or veggie at every meal.

3. Resolve never to supersize your food portions–unless you want to supersize your clothes.

4. Make eating purposeful, not mindless. Whenever you put food in your mouth, peel it, unwrap it, plate it, and sit. Engage all of the senses in the pleasure of nourishing your body.

5. Start eating a big breakfast. It helps you eat fewer total calories throughout the day.

6. Make sure your plate is half veggies and/or fruit at both lunch and dinner.

Are there Any Easy Tricks to Help Me Cut Calories?
7. Eating out? Halve it, and bag the rest. A typical restaurant entree has 1,000 to 2,000 calories, not even counting the bread, appetizer, beverage, and dessert.

8. When dining out, make it automatic: Order one dessert to share.

9. Use a salad plate instead of a dinner plate.

10. See what you eat. Plate your food instead of eating out of the jar or bag.

11. Eat the low-cal items on your plate first, then graduate. Start with salads, veggies, and broth soups, and eat meats and starches last. By the time you get to them, you’ll be full enough to be content with smaller portions of the high-calorie choices.

12. Instead of whole milk, switch to 1 percent. If you drink one 8-oz glass a day, you’ll lose 5 lb in a year.

13. Juice has as many calories, ounce for ounce, as soda. Set a limit of one 8-oz glass of fruit juice a day.

14. Get calories from foods you chew, not beverages. Have fresh fruit instead of fruit juice.

15. Keep a food journal. It really works wonders.

16. Follow the Chinese saying: “Eat until you are eight-tenths full.”

17. Use mustard instead of mayo.

18. Eat more soup. The noncreamy ones are filling but low-cal.

19. Cut back on or cut out caloric drinks such as soda, sweet tea, lemonade, etc. People have lost weight by making just this one change. If you have a 20-oz bottle of Coca-Cola every day, switch to Diet Coke. You should lose 25 lb in a year.

20. Take your lunch to work.

21. Sit when you eat.

22. Dilute juice with water.

23. Have mostly veggies for lunch.

24. Eat at home.

25. Limit alcohol to weekends.
26. Have a V8 or tomato juice instead of a Diet Coke at 3 pm.

27. Doctor your veggies to make them delicious: Dribble maple syrup over carrots, and sprinkle chopped nuts on green beans.

28. Mix three different cans of beans and some diet Italian dressing. Eat this three-bean salad all week.

29. Don’t forget that vegetable soup counts as a vegetable.

30. Rediscover the sweet potato.

31. Use prebagged baby spinach everywhere: as “lettuce” in sandwiches, heated in soups, wilted in hot pasta, and added to salads.

32. Spend the extra few dollars to buy vegetables that are already washed and cut up.

33. Really hate veggies? Relax. If you love fruits, eat plenty of them; they are just as healthy (especially colorful ones such as oranges, mangoes, and melons).

34. Keep seven bags of your favorite frozen vegetables on hand. Mix any combination, microwave, and top with your favorite low-fat dressing. Enjoy 3 to 4 cups a day. Makes a great quick dinner.

Can You Give Me a Mantra that will Help Me Stick to My Diet?
35. “The best portion of high-calorie foods is the smallest one. The best portion of vegetables is the largest one. Period.”

36. “I’ll ride the wave. My cravings will disappear after 10 minutes if I turn my attention elsewhere.”

37. “I want to be around to see my grandchildren, so I can forgo a cookie now.”

38. “I am a work in progress.”

39. “It’s more stressful to continue being fat than to stop overeating.”

I Eat Healthy, but I’m Overweight. What Mistakes Could I Be Making without Realizing It?
40. Skipping meals. Many healthy eaters “diet by day and binge by night.”

41. Don’t “graze” yourself fat. You can easily munch 600 calories of pretzels or cereal without realizing it.

42. Eating pasta like crazy. A serving of pasta is 1 cup, but some people routinely eat 4 cups.

43. Eating supersize bagels of 400 to 500 calories for snacks.

44. Ignoring “Serving Size” on the Nutrition Facts panel.

45. Snacking on bowls of nuts. Nuts are healthy but dense with calories. Put those bowls away, and use nuts as a garnish instead of a snack.

46. Thinking all energy bars and fruit smoothies are low-cal.
What Can I Eat for a Healthy Low-Cal Dinner if I Don’t Want to Cook?
47. A smoothie made with fat-free milk, frozen fruit, and wheat germ.

48. The smallest fast-food burger (with mustard and ketchup, not mayo) and a no-cal beverage. Then at home, have an apple or baby carrots.

49. A peanut butter sandwich on whole wheat bread with a glass of 1 percent milk and an apple.

50. Precooked chicken strips and microwaved frozen broccoli topped with Parmesan cheese.

51. A healthy frozen entree with a salad and a glass of 1 percent milk.

52. Scramble eggs in a nonstick skillet. Pop some asparagus in the microwave, and add whole wheat toast. If your cholesterol levels are normal, you can have seven eggs a week!

53. A bag of frozen vegetables heated in the microwave, topped with 2 tablespoons of Parmesan cheese and 2 tablespoons of chopped nuts.

54. Prebagged salad topped with canned tuna, grape tomatoes, shredded reduced-fat cheese, and low-cal Italian dressing.

55. Keep lean sandwich fixings on hand: whole wheat bread, sliced turkey, reduced-fat cheese, tomatoes, mustard with horseradish.

56. Heat up a can of good soup.

57. Cereal, fruit, and fat-free milk makes a good meal anytime.

58. Try a veggie sandwich from Subway.

59. Precut fruit for a salad and add yogurt.

What’s Your Best Advice for Avoiding those Extra Holiday Pounds?
60. Don’t tell yourself, “It’s okay, it’s the holidays.” That opens the door to 6 weeks of splurging.

61. Remember, EAT before you meet. Have this small meal before you go to any parties: a hardboiled Egg, Apple, and a Thirst quencher (water, seltzer, diet soda, tea).

62. As obvious as it sounds, don’t stand near the food at parties. Make the effort, and you’ll find you eat less.

63. At a buffet? Eating a little of everything guarantees high calories. Decide on three or four things, only one of which is high in calories. Save that for last so there’s less chance of overeating.

64. For the duration of the holidays, wear your snuggest clothes that don’t allow much room for expansion. Wearing sweats is out until January.

65. Give it away! After company leaves, give away leftover food to neighbors, doormen, or delivery people, or take it to work the next day.

66. Walk around the mall three times before you start shopping.

67. Make exercise a nonnegotiable priority.

68. Dance to music with your family in your home. One dietitian reported that when she asks her patients to do this, initially they just smile, but once they’ve done it, they say it is one of the easiest ways to involve the whole family in exercise.
How Can I Control a Raging Sweet Tooth?
69. Once in a while, have a lean, mean salad for lunch or dinner, and save the meal’s calories for a full dessert.

70. Are you the kind of person who does better if you make up your mind to do without sweets and just not have them around? Or are you going to do better if you have a limited amount of sweets every day? One RD reported that most of her clients pick the latter and find they can avoid bingeing after a few days.

71. If your family thinks they need a very sweet treat every night, try to strike a balance between offering healthy choices but allowing them some “free will.” Compromise with low-fat ice cream and fruit, or sometimes just fruit with a dollop of whipped cream.

72. Try 2 weeks without sweets. It’s amazing how your cravings vanish.

73. Eat more fruit. A person who gets enough fruit in his diet doesn’t have a raging sweet tooth.

74. Eat your sweets, just eat them smart! Carve out about 150 calories per day for your favorite sweet. That amounts to about an ounce of chocolate, half a modest slice of cake, or 1/2 cup of regular ice cream.

75. Try these smart little sweets: sugar-free hot cocoa, frozen red grapes, fudgsicles, sugar-free gum, Nutri-Grain chocolate fudge twists, Tootsie Rolls, and hard candy.

How Can I Conquer My Downfall: Bingeing at Night?
76. Eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner. The large majority of people who struggle with night eating are those who skip meals or don’t eat balanced meals during the day. This is a major setup for overeating at night.

77. Eat your evening meal in the kitchen or dining room, sitting down at the table.

78. Drink cold unsweetened raspberry tea. It tastes great and keeps your mouth busy.

79. Change your nighttime schedule. It will take effort, but it will pay off. You need something that will occupy your mind and hands.

80. If you’re eating at night due to emotions, you need to focus on getting in touch with what’s going on and taking care of yourself in a way that really works. Find a nonfood method of coping with your stress.

81. Put a sign on the kitchen and refrigerator doors: “Closed after Dinner.”

82. Brush your teeth right after dinner to remind you: No more food.

83. Eat without engaging in any other simultaneous activity. No reading, watching TV, or sitting at the computer.

84. Eating late at night won’t itself cause weight gain. It’s how many calories–not when you eat them–that counts.
How Can I Reap Added Health Benefits from My Dieting?
85. Fat-free isn’t always your best bet. Research has found that none of the lycopene or alpha- or beta-carotene that fight cancer and heart disease is absorbed from salads with fat-free dressing. Only slightly more is absorbed with reduced-fat dressing; the most is absorbed with full-fat dressing. But remember, use your dressing in moderate amounts.

86. Skipping breakfast will leave you tired and craving naughty foods by midmorning. To fill up healthfully and tastefully, try this sweet, fruity breakfast full of antioxidants. In a blender, process 1 c nonfat plain or vanilla yogurt, 1 1/3 c frozen strawberries (no added sugar), 1 peeled kiwi, and 1 peeled banana. Pulse until mixture is milkshake consistency. Makes one 2-cup serving; 348 calories and 1.5 fat grams.

87. If you’re famished by 4 p.m. and have no alternative but an office vending machine, reach for the nuts–. The same goes if your only choices are what’s available in the hotel minibar.

88. Next time you’re feeling wiped out in late afternoon, forgo that cup of coffee and reach for a cup of yogurt instead. The combination of protein, carbohydrate, and fat in an 8-ounce serving of low-fat yogurt will give you a sense of fullness and well-being that coffee can’t match, as well as some vital nutrients. If you haven’t eaten in 3 to 4 hours, your blood glucose levels are probably dropping, so eating a small amount of nutrient-rich food will give your brain and your body a boost.

89. Making just a few changes to your pantry shelves can get you a lot closer to your weight loss goals. Here’s what to do: If you use corn and peanut oil, replace it with olive oil. Same goes for breads–go for whole wheat. Trade in those fatty cold cuts like salami and bologna and replace them canned tuna, sliced turkey breast, and lean roast beef. Change from drinking whole milk to fat-free milk or low-fat soy milk. This is hard for a lot of people so try transitioning down to 2 percent and then 1 percent before you go fat-free.

90. Nothing’s less appetizing than a crisper drawer full of mushy vegetables. Frozen vegetables store much better, plus they may have greater nutritional value than fresh. Food suppliers typically freeze veggies just a few hours after harvest, locking in the nutrients. Fresh veggies, on the other hand, often spend days in the back of a truck before they reach your supermarket.

91. Worried about the trans-fat content in your peanut butter? Good news: In a test done on Skippy, JIF, Peter Pan, and a supermarket brand, the levels of trans fats per 2-tablespoon serving were far lower than 0.5 gram–low enough that under proposed laws, the brands can legally claim zero trans fats on the label. They also contained only 1 gram more sugar than natural brands–not a significant difference.
Eating Less Isn’t Enough–What Exercising Tips Will Help Me Shed Pounds?
92. Overeating is not the result of exercise. Vigorous exercise won’t stimulate you to overeat. It’s just the opposite. Exercise at any level helps curb your appetite immediately following the workout.

93. When you’re exercising, you shouldn’t wait for thirst to strike before you take a drink. By the time you feel thirsty, you’re already dehydrated. Try this: Drink at least 16 ounces of water, sports drinks, or juices two hours before you exercise. Then drink 8 ounces an hour before and another 4 to 8 ounces every 15 to 20 minutes during your workout. Finish with at least 16 ounces after you’re done exercising.

94. Tune in to an audio book while you walk. It’ll keep you going longer and looking forward to the next walk–and the next chapter! Check your local library for a great selection. Look for a whodunit; you might walk so far you’ll need to take a cab home!

95. Think yoga’s too serene to burn calories? Think again. You can burn 250 to 350 calories during an hour-long class (that’s as much as you’d burn from an hour of walking)! Plus, you’ll improve muscle strength, flexibility, and endurance.

96. Drinking too few can hamper your weight loss efforts. That’s because dehydration can slow your metabolism by 3 percent, or about 45 fewer calories burned a day, which in a year could mean weighing 5 pounds more. The key to water isn’t how much you drink, it’s how frequently you drink it. Small amounts sipped often work better than 8 ounces gulped down at once.

How Can I Manage My Emotional Eating and Get the Support I Need?
97. A registered dietitian (RD) can help you find healthy ways to manage your weight with food. To find one in your area who consults with private clients call (800) 366-1655.

98. The best place to drop pounds may be your own house of worship. Researchers set up healthy eating and exercise programs in 16 Baltimore churches. More than 500 women participated and after a year the most successful lost an average of 20 lb. Weight loss programs based on faith are so successful because there’s a built-in community component that people can feel comfortable with.

99. Here’s another reason to keep level-headed all the time: Pennsylvania State University research has found that women less able to cope with stress–shown by blood pressure and heart rate elevations–ate twice as many fatty snacks as stress-resistant women did, even after the stress stopped (in this case, 25 minutes of periodic jackhammer-level noise and an unsolvable maze).

100. Sitting at a computer may help you slim down. When researchers at Brown University School of Medicine put 92 people on online weight loss programs for a year, those who received weekly e-mail counseling shed 5 1/2 more pounds than those who got none. Counselors provided weekly feedback on diet and exercise logs, answered questions, and cheered them on. Most major online diet programs offer many of these features.

2. Start with a bang. At 315 pounds, Kelly Feick had long hidden behind her blond, waist-length hair. But when she decided to take a risk and cut it, her courage to change sparked a sense of purpose and commitment. Kelly, 32, began eating healthier and walking every day. In 1 year, she dropped from a size 30 to a size 4. Pounds lost: 185.

3. Seize your strength. “I stopped telling myself that I was destined to be overweight forever,” says Adrienne Sussman, 52. “I accepted that whatever was broken, I had the power to fix.” To get comfortable with yourself, stand in front of a mirror completely naked every couple of weeks. Find one body part that you like–even if it’s your elbows! When Adrienne stopped berating herself, she shed 30 pounds.

4. Make a dream book. “Before I could change my body, I had to change my thinking,” recalls Sonia Turner, 43. “To build my confidence, I created a scrapbook of people exercising and overcoming adversity. I included a photo of my husband’s company Christmas party. I’d always stayed home because I was embarrassed, but I announced, ‘Next year, we’re going.’” When the holidays rolled around, Sonia had lost 135 pounds. She and her husband danced the night away.

5. See a pro. At age 50, George Trott was diagnosed with diabetes and heart disease. That news got him to trim down 40 pounds, but he needed to lose more. On the suggestion of his daughter, he visited a dietitian who helped him fine-tune his diet. He finally shed all the necessary pounds, and his subsequent blood tests improved too.
Believe in Yourself (cont.)

6. Be flexible. Kris Roberts’s schedule didn’t allow her to set up a rigid exercise routine. So Kris, 37, took a different approach. “I did whatever was most convenient. My only goal was to do something to raise my heart rate and work up a sweat every day-even if only for 5 minutes.” Her flexibility kept Kris motivated to exercise and enjoy it. She’s maintained her 50-pound weight loss for 10 years.

7. Don’t blame it on age. Connie Bissonnette, 58, had given up, believing that weight gain was a normal part of aging. Her son proved her wrong. “He said, ‘Just give me 10 minutes, three times a week,’” Connie recalls. “He devised a workout of exercises such as seated leg lifts and wall pushups that I did at home.” Connie began enjoying the exercises and eventually worked her way up to a 30-minute routine. Pounds lost: 41.

8. Step away from the scale. By the time Kym Hubert’s weight reached 245, the 41-year-old was checking her scale three times a day. Desperate to help, her husband smashed the scale. “It was depressing having my ‘addiction’ taken away,” she says. But she started focusing on a new weight loss interest: walking. When Kym finally weighed herself a year later, she’d lost 80 pounds.

9. Personalize your plan. Dozens of weight loss plans had failed Lisa Douglass, 29, so she created her own. “I decided to be responsible for my choices,” she says. Lisa scoured exercise and nutrition materials, chose the best advice, and developed her own program. She went from 280 pounds to 160 over a 2-year period. “Even though I still make bad choices occasionally, I like the fact that I’m making them,” she says.

Set the Right Goals
10. Build on success. More than 10 years ago, Marlene Dropp, 54, took her first walk around the block in an effort to lose some of her 200 pounds. She set a goal of 5 miles a day. When she achieved that landmark within 2 months, she came up with a new goal: to cover a mile in 13 minutes. She did that easily and lost 50 pounds in 2 years. Then Marlene began entering racewalking competitions–and had the thrill of completing a marathon for her 51st birthday.

11. Use a symbol. Dinah Burnette, 38, hung an expensive black dress on her closet door. At 245 pounds, she couldn’t even pull it over her hips. “I tried it on every 4 weeks. When I eventually got in it, the buttons were 4 feet apart!” she laughs. One year later and 100 pounds lighter, she fit into the size 12 with room to spare. Ten years later, Dinah still keeps her size 24 dress in the closet as a reminder.

Eat More
12. Move to eat. Rick Myers’s choice was this: Eat fewer calories, or burn more with exercise. He chose the latter and took off more than 50 pounds. In the beginning, Rick, 46, could barely walk for 15 minutes at a time. Now he runs about 1 hour every day, covering roughly 7 miles. “I switched from walking to running to burn even more calories,” he says.

13. Fill up. A 50-year battle of the bulge ended when Helen Stein, 73, admitted her love of eating. Instead of cutting down, she eats large salads, big pink grapefruits, whole cantaloupes, and big chunks of watermelon. These make her feel full without the fat or calories piling up. And Helen hasn’t regained an ounce of the 38 pounds that she lost 15 years ago.

14. Seduce your tastebuds. When Alice Layne, 42, traded in pizza for international cuisine, she lost 67 pounds and four dress sizes. “The new tastes transformed my palate.”

15. Get it fresh. Carla Tuckerton, 44, stopped having headaches and lost 20 pounds when she gave up highly processed foods. “Almost everything I ate was processed and loaded with artificial sweeteners or salt. I was practically living on frozen dinners, diet sodas, and sugar-free desserts.” Now Carla buys fish and chicken from a farmers’ market, shops for organically grown fruits and veggies, and cooks her own meals. Spring water with a slice of lemon has replaced colas, and she drinks her tea unsweetened.

16. Don’t start empty. Susan Carlson, 42, always chose an extra 15 minutes of sleep over a bowl of cereal, until her slim friends advised her to eat breakfast. She started slowly with a slice of toast and a cup of coffee, gradually adding a bowl of cold or hot cereal. Her lunches got smaller, and she stopped snacking on cookies and chips in the afternoon. Pounds lost: 36.

17. Earmark “occasion” foods. Rosemary Chiaverini, 50, lost 87 pounds when she began linking eating to special events. She eats hamburgers and hot dogs only at picnics, popcorn only at the movies, and pasta only on theater nights. “I tie my eating to the ambience of what I’m doing. It gives the food extra meaning,” she says. It also gives Rosemary license to indulge without going overboard.

18. Snack on cereal. Teresa Pucsek’s weight loss stalled because of her apple streudel, a favorite treat that reminded her of her childhood in Hungary. “I had to figure out a way to eat differently but still get that familiar ‘old home’ feeling,” says the 80-year-old. Her solution: sweetened cereal. The sugar satisfies her sweet tooth, and the milk reminds her of her childhood. This satisfying, lower-calorie snack has helped her maintain an 86-pound weight loss for 24 years.

Eat Smart
19. Dine alone. Debbee Sereduck, 38, dropped an astounding 234 pounds when, after preparing dinner for her family, she started taking hers into the living room and didn’t return until everything in the kitchen was completely put away. “This kept me from taking extra helpings or finishing the kids’ uneaten food,” says Debbee. “It also gave me a little quiet time.”

20. Create “The End.” Linda O’Hanlon, 30, never got the “full” signal that makes most people push away their plates. “When I sat down for a spaghetti dinner, I didn’t get up until every last strand was gone,” she says. Instead of relying on her stomach, Linda decided to start measuring her portions. After her brain took charge, she proceeded to drop three pants sizes. Two years later, Linda’s holding steady at 151 pounds and now can eyeball her portions.

21. Read the box. Phyllis Barbour, 70, ate all the right weight loss foods, worked out three or four times a week, and was on her feet constantly. So she was puzzled when her clothes started feeling a bit snug. Then Phyllis picked up a package of her beloved bagels and read the nutrition label. One of those big, doughy delectables equaled four servings of bread. When she checked other labels, she found more of the same. “I saw an immediate difference when I started paying closer attention to serving sizes,” she says. Pounds lost: 7.

22. Check your fluids. For Lent, Jim Gorman, 33, substituted water and club soda for sugary beverages and alcohol. By Easter, 40 days later, he was 20 pounds lighter.

23. Switch your plate. Eating less wasn’t easy for Gretchen Harvey, 32, until she substituted a salad plate for a dinner plate. (The former holds only about 60 percent of the amount of food.) “I was still seeing a full plate of food, so psychologically it didn’t seem that I was denying myself anything,” she says. Gretchen lost 30 pounds.

Get Moving
24. Use nervous energy. When you’re under stress, your body releases adrenaline in anticipation of either fighting or fleeing. But in combating everyday stress, that biological response can urge you to eat. When Robert Kim, 36, took up running to deal with pressure, he lost 45 pounds.

25. Breathe, don’t gasp. LisaKay Wojcik, 33, was so overweight and out of shape that 2 minutes’ worth of low-impact aerobics left her so breathless that she called 911. A doctor at the hospital told her that she was breathing incorrectly. “He told me to breathe in through my nose and out through my mouth while exercising, and to exhale harder to force a deeper inhale. This sends more oxygen to the muscles.” Two years later, LisaKay had lost 215 pounds and gone from a size 36 to a size 2.

26. Catch up to reading. Books on tape helped Rebecca Harding, 49, run off 68 pounds and keep it off for 15 years. “I played the tapes only when I was running,” she says. “Recently, when I ran to a tape of The Horse Whisperer, I went almost 9 miles up a steep hill in the rain!”

27. Stretch out. At 220 pounds, Melissa MacKinnon, 33, decided to try yoga. “It looked so relaxing and easy, so perfect for my imperfect body,” she says. Melissa’s energy level soared, and as she became more attuned to her body, she began to crave vegetables, not chocolate. She replaced refined sugars with whole grains. “As yoga rewired my mind, I learned to take better care of my body,” she says. Melissa’s held to her 60-pound weight loss for 7 years.

28. Get out. Sharon Evans, 38, got involved in orienteering (a sport where you find your way using only a compass and a map) to improve her navigational skills for backpacking. Being out in the fresh air replaced eating in front of the TV. As her orienteering skills grew, her waistline shrank. Pounds lost: 20.

29. Phone-ercise. When Jeri Jefferis, now 57, left her job as a phys ed instructor, she worried about regaining the 30 pounds she had lost earlier. With two small children, she was hard-pressed to find time to work out. Then she realized that chatting with friends, listening to phone solicitations, even being put on hold were opportunities to keep in shape. “Sometimes I’d simply pace the floor. Other times, I’d do squats or leg lifts. If I hadn’t started doing that, I know I’d have a weight problem today.”

30. Act out. Kirie Pedersen’s job was making her fat. “Virtually every day for 6 years, I was glued to a chair,” says the 48-year-old. Kirie began stretching in the morning. She swung her arms vigorously when she walked. “I’d also set a timer to go off every hour,” she says. “That was my cue: For 15 minutes, I’d squat, skip, wiggle, dance–whatever I felt like doing–just like kids do.” A year later, Kirie was 40 pounds slimmer, wearing a size 6 instead of a 14.

Build Muscle
31. Turn a La-Z-Boy into a Busy-Boy. Lynn Oatman, 48, doesn’t relax when she sits down. She hoists a pair of dumbbells up and down for about half an hour while watching TV. “I’ve gone from somebody who could barely lift a 10-pound bag of potatoes to bench-pressing 75 pounds. It makes me feel powerful,” she boasts. Lynn has dropped 60 pounds in 2 years.

32. Shape a new body. Watching a bodybuilding competition on TV 20 years ago spurred Sharon Turrentine–who had not exercised in years–to head for the gym. “Five pounds was the most that I could lift when I started,” recalls Sharon, 55. “Now I bench-press more than 100 pounds.” Within 3 years, Sharon dropped four dress sizes. The person who’d once undressed in her closet decided to show off her 5′2″, 109-pound body in competition. Over the years, she’s brought home 15 trophies.

Binge-Proof Your Life
33. Pop in some inspiration. Marcia Carter, 41, avoided temptations–and lost 35 pounds–by keeping motivational tapes and books handy. “If I was near a fast-food drive-thru, I’d pop a tape into my car stereo,” she says. “The pep talk helped me to stay on track. It also helped when I’d slip and eat something that I shouldn’t.”

34. Feel what’s gone. Whenever Pat Beyer, 41, gets the urge to splurge, she picks up a 5-pound bag of sugar. “I’ve taken off the equivalent of five bags of sugar in weight, and I don’t want them back,” she proclaims.

35. Please your dentist. Thirty-five-year-old Lisa Gardiner’s downfall was after-dinner noshing, so she fell back on an old college trick: “I brush my teeth immediately after dinner. It’s my signal that eating is over for the day.” (Toothpaste also alters the flavor of food, so it doesn’t taste good.) Pounds lost: 25.

36. Turn in instead of giving in. Cheryl Lachenmayer’s weight loss resolve dissolved each evening. To beat her cravings, the 39-year-old went to bed, sometimes as early as 9:00. She also went from 170 pounds to a slim 130.

37. Steep into evening. Feeling tired after work and anticipating the evening’s chores made Jeanette Green, 60, anxious and tense. At 300 pounds, she’d head straight for the refrigerator to soothe herself.
“But then I remembered something from Overeaters Anonymous: ‘If you get your head straight, your body will follow.’” The next day, Jeanette brewed a cup of herbal tea as soon as she walked through the door. Then she curled up to relax and recharge. Her teatime became a treasured ritual and stopped the munchies. She took off 140 pounds and has maintained her weight loss for more than 18 years.

38. Grab a magazine. When the fridge calls Cynthia Herrmann, 48, she picks up a magazine or newspaper. “If I still feel hungry after reading for 15 minutes, I eat. But I often get so absorbed that 30 minutes fly by, and the craving’s gone,” she says. Pounds lost: 90.

39. Follow the beat. Bingeing was Mark Maron’s way to deal with a work crisis, a fight with a loved one, or anything else that made him feel bad. One day, Mark, 36, decided to skip his usual fast-food place and head for the music store. “I picked out two CDs, including one featuring my favorite song, ‘Born to Be Alive,’” he recalls. He got so pumped up that he forgot about food and headed for the gym. That habit eventually erased 25 pounds.

Talk Yourself Thin
40. Carry a pen. “I was tired of compliments that stopped at my face,” says Juanita Dillard, a 37-year-old makeup artist who weighed 274 pounds. “I was constantly surrounded by thin, gorgeous models, and I wanted to be like them.”

Juanita started writing about her stress instead of feeding it. Within a year and a half, she dropped from a size 24 to a size 6. One time, halfway through a binge brought on by the stress of losing her pet, Juanita reached into her purse and felt her journal. Out it came, and she started writing. After putting her feelings down on paper, her desire to eat was gone. “Journalizing has become my no-cal stress buster,” she says.

41. Announce your intentions. “The support that I got was unbelievable,” says Irma Toce, 42. “Clients and coworkers told me how wonderful I looked. A friend who had always baked cookies agreed to prepare just one special chocolate chip cookie a week for me. On days when I didn’t feel like exercising, my eldest stepdaughter would encourage me. And when the weather got cold, my husband bought me a treadmill.” With all that support, Irma easily lost 70 pounds.

42. Dial a friend. Freelance writer Carol Kennedy, 45, curbed cravings and lost 20 pounds when she and a couple of friends developed a telephone support group. “When I craved ice cream, I’d call one of my friends. She’d talk me through it and help me stick to my plan,” Carol explains.

43. Stay focused. When David Zimmerman arrived home after a year overseas, he didn’t recognize his wife, Hope: She’d lost 121 pounds. “Aiming to shock him had been a big motivator,” says Hope, 31. But a snide comment (”She’s not as thin as your brother’s girlfriend.”) threatened her success. “I was devastated by the remark,” she recalls, “but I let go of it by focusing on the kindness that I received from others.”
Make Motivation Easy

44. Revisit the pits. When Beth Linden, who’d lost 100 pounds, slipped back to her old habits and regained 15 pounds, she pulled out the audiotape that documented the worst moment of her life. “I could hear my voice quiver as I described meeting my daughter’s friend, who said, ‘I didn’t know your mommy was fat.’ I hated putting my daughter in such an awkward situation; I felt lonely and empty. I was embarrassed to shop for clothes. I hated myself back then and didn’t want to go back there,” recalls Beth, 39. The tape turned her around and has kept her on the weight loss track for more than 5 years.

45. Schedule nudges. Bevan Brooks, 22, used a calendar full of motivational “carrots” to shed 20 pounds. “I would remind myself of parties, trips, sporting events, visitors from out of town, and weddings in the weeks and months ahead,” she says. “Every time I’d consider bagging a workout or eating pepperoni pizza, I’d remind myself of an upcoming event. How I looked meant more to me than any piece of pizza.”

46. Take a time-out. “I relaxed my strict dietary rules on weekends, and I stopped feeling deprived,” says Helene Gullaksen, 35. “When a craving hits during the week, I tell myself, ‘This isn’t the last time I can eat this food,’ and it helps me walk away from whatever is tempting me.” Pounds lost: 50.

Make Motivation Easier
47. Be blunt (with yourself). Oprah Winfrey and her personal trainer, Bob Greene, inspired 300-pound Tawni Gomes to start exercising when the 34-year-old met Greene at a book signing. “I heard another woman ask him how she was supposed to find time to exercise with four kids, a house, and a full-time job,” recalls Tawni. “Bob looked her straight in the eye and said, ‘You’re not ready to lose weight.’ I was shocked, but realized that I was making identical excuses. Everybody has the same number of hours in a day. If people busier than I can find time to exercise, so can I.” The next morning, Tawni got up early to walk. It was the start of what would become a daily ritual. Pounds lost: 125.

48. Cover the clock. Some nights, Mitch Lipka, 34, could barely look at his stationary bike, let alone ride it. Then he developed the diversionary tactic of throwing a towel or T-shirt over the timer to concentrate on something else. He’d get so lost in thought that the time was up before he even knew it. Now he never misses a session. Pounds lost: 200.

49. Do 10, then switch. Whenever Cheryl Allard, 50, goes to the gym, she uses one machine for 10 minutes, then moves on to something else. This boredom-beating strategy worked so well that Cheryl started going to the gym 6 days a week. Within a year, she took off 100 pounds.

50. Showcase “before” photos. Both Julia Ferraro, 37, and her mother, Adelaide, were 5′2″ tall and weighed 205 pounds. A family picture brought them to tears. “You can know that you’re getting bigger, but it doesn’t hit you until you look at a picture of yourself,” says Julia. Instead of stashing the photo out of sight, they agreed to display it prominently for weight loss motivation. Since that shot was taken, the two have lost a combined 90 pounds and five dress sizes-and they’ve added a new, beaming mother/daughter photo to their tabletop gallery.

51. Be your own coach. Jeanann Pock, 29, had trouble getting up early to walk until she read a quote from legendary football coach Vince Lombardi: “Winning is not a sometime thing; it’s an all-the-time thing.” Says Jeanann, “I realized that I had to win every little battle along the way-including the skirmishes with my alarm clock. I had to think like a winner to become one.” Now, Jeanann throws off the covers every morning. Pounds lost: 85.

Reward Yourself
52. Celebrate every victory. Susan DeFusco ultimately managed to shed 100 pounds, but day-to-day, she focused on losing just the next 5. Each time she accomplished one of those baby steps, she would reward herself with a bubble bath or an exercise tape. “You need to look at each 5-pound loss as something worth celebrating,” advises the 38-year-old.

If you saw the emotional turmoil portrayed in the movies War of the Roses and Kramer vs. Kramer, you’d probably think twice about divorce. Unhappy individuals who believe that ending their marriage would make them happier are often living a myth.

Chances are that they’ve attributed the failure of the marriage to their spouse, dispensing with self-examination. Blaming the other instead of oneself becomes the favorite pastime, the most convenient means to walk away.

By failing to accept their own frailties, and not realizing that they’ve entered the marriage with unreasonable demands and unrealistic expectations, they unconsciously released the forces leading to a potential separation.

There’s also the phenomenon of short memories. For some reason, the same individuals who vowed to support each other during their time of wedded bliss have forgotten their commitment and vows to love each other through thick and thin.

Our modern society has indeed become a disposable society. This is what Alvin Toffler had predicted almost two decades ago. This state of “disposableness” is reflected in our ability to DELETE and PURGE and SHRED what we no longer need.

And when our once beloved partner is no longer of use to us, we call our lawyer and instruct him/her to initiate divorce proceedings.

Funny, but despite its harrowing and complex web, divorce has also become just a phone call away, a “to go” solution that we can pick up on the way to cleaner’s.

Truth is, is that divorce has an ugly side to it. It’s the easy way out for people who have not an ounce of courage to salvage what deserves to be salvaged.

Divorce un-builds and undoes what took years to nurture, and sadly, often the only people who benefit from it are greedy lawyers who will use every trick in the book to divest the other of assets, until no remnant of the person’s investment physical, monetary and emotional remains.

While divorcing couples spend their mental energies accusing the other of causing hurt and disharmony in the union, they forget that the children suffer in double  triple dosages. Couples forget that the sentiments of children are more fragile and harder to mend. This is when the concept of human selfishness and self-centredness become transparent. It’s odd how the true character of people comes out when they’re the actors in a divorce.

The determination not to be swayed by the lows and downs of a relationship mirrors strength and integrity, not to mention the ability to see beyond one’s personal unhappiness. And by saving the marriage, more than one human being is saved.

This is the essence of this ebook in your hands right now; perhaps the most important that you’ll ever read.

The Unpleasant Side of Divorce

Getting married is entering into a contract – but it’s probably the one contract that is the easiest to break because divorce has made it easy for husband and wife to walk out when they go through an unhappy period in their life, albeit temporary.

John Crouch, Executive Director of Americans for Divorce Reform, says that the most important economic contract of our lives  marriage  is no longer legally protected.

Just think  lawyers will fight tooth and nail to protect corporations in their contract relations or between you and your landlord, your mechanic and your doctor, but can’t prevent you from breaking up with your spouse. In fact, they would even counsel you to break up your marriage and then discuss division of property as the next logical step.

Crouch says that marriage is the only contract that anyone can break, at any time, and not be held responsible for it.

“So getting married in America is like doing business in Russia. Everything is up for grabs, everything is constantly renegotiated, and nobody has to keep their word. I think that makes for a lot of unhappy marriages.”1

The Dollar Costs of Divorce

From a cost perspective, divorce can be economically
damaging not only for the state but also for couples.
Consider these figures:

• US divorces cost the country $33 billion annually or $312.00 per household;
• The average divorce in America costs state and federal governments $30,000 in direct and indirect costs. Direct costs to the state include child support enforcement, Medicaid payments, temporary assistance to needy families fund (TANF), food stamps and public housing assistance.
• To the couple, divorce costs about $18,000 and this would include lost work productivity, relocation costs and legal fees that vary immensely, depending on the nature of the divorce and the situation of the couple.

The Emotional Costs of Divorce

And what about the argument that divorce makes people happier after they leave a sad marriage?

Studies appear to suggest that this is a myth, because evidence points to the contrary. According to the Institute of American Values, when divorced couples were rated with couples who stayed married on 12 parameters of psychological well-being, it was discovered that on average, couples who divorced were no happier five years after the divorce than were equally unhappily married couples who stayed together.4

There are other reasons why divorced individuals don’t end up happier:

• Depression symptoms do not necessarily diminish with divorce, nor did divorce raise people’s self-esteem;
• Unhappy marriages were less common than unhappy spouses;
• Staying married did not typically trap unhappy spouses in violent relationships.

Ms. Heines also raised the litigation aspect in most divorces. She said that a significant number of married people usually want to settle their divorce with the least possible hassle, but divorce lawyers are a species to be reckoned with. They come up with arguments to justify getting into World War III, and they drag out the paper work.

For divorcing couples who become emotionally and financially spent, is the courtroom drama really all that worth it? Couldn’t couples just talk about their differences without third parties who are in it to line their pockets?

Painless Divorce?

Many lawyers, and those who care to admit it, agree: a painless divorce, like painless dentistry, is non-existent. And the trauma  legal or emotional  continues to be felt long after divorcing couples have left the courts.

Explaining why divorce costs time, energy and money, a lawyer from the law offices of E. Carroll Strauss had this to say:

“And whether we notice it or not… marriage is way more like “Joe and Wilma, Inc.” than “happily ever after.” When we say “I do” we then enter into an economic partnership. We buy cars, houses, books, big-screen TVs. We make babies. We make plans. We make assumptions. We get disappointed…Like shareholders, we have invested in the partnership. We invest time, we invest money and we invest emotions. We invest all of these in hopes, and we invest all these things in dreams, and we invest all of these in security. Rare is the man or woman who can walk away from these investments… so de-investing is painful.”

Divorce and Children

A specialist in human development and family studies from the University of Missouri discussed the impact of divorce on children, mentioning that how they react strongly and differently to their divorcing parents depends on their age.

=> Infants: higher degree of irritability, more crying and fussing, changes in sleeping and eating habits.

=> Toddlers: they recognize the fact that one parent is no longer living at home, they have a difficult time physically separating from a parent, may express anger, may lose some skills previously acquired like toilet training, going back to thumb-sucking, experience changes in sleeping patterns, may have nightmares.

=> Pre-schoolers and early elementary age: may blame themselves for the divorce, may over-worry about changes in their lives, may exhibit sadness and grieving because of the absence of one parent, may be aggressive and violent to the parent they blame for the divorce, may fantasize about their parents getting back together.

=> Pre-teens: may feel abandoned by the departing parent, may withdraw from friends and favourite activities, may exhibit strange behaviour and use foul language, may feel angry and uncertain about their concepts of love, marriage and family, may feel that they are growing up too soon, and may find themselves preoccupied about their parents’ finances.

Some Eye-Opening Statistics

• >Although divorced people may have successful subsequent marriages, the divorce rate of remarriages is actually higher than that of first marriages,
• Those who get into a live-in arrangement before marrying have a considerably higher chance of divorcing. Reasons are not that clear. This can probably be explained by the fact that the type of people who tend to co-habit may also be those who are more willing to divorce. There is proof that supports the notion that cohabitation itself generates attitudes in people that are more conducive to divorce, one example of which is the thinking that living together is temporary, and hence an arrangement that can easily be terminated.
• Qualitative studies and long term empirical studies have demonstrated that children develop interpersonal problems that become worse in adulthood, thus affecting their own chances at a happy marriage.
• As inferred from the previous statement, children of divorce have a much higher rate of divorce than children whose parents stayed together. The old adage that parents set the example is true in this case. Children learn about commitment and permanence from parents. For children of divorced parents, these concepts have already been undermined or shaken.
• No marriage is perfect. Using a large sample for research purposes, researchers learned that 86 percent of people who were unhappily married in the late 1980s, but stayed with the marriage, indicated that, when interviewed five years later, they were happier. In fact 3/5 of those who were previously unhappy considered their marriages as either “very happy” or “quite happy.”6
• A marriage counsellor, after counseling hundreds of couples who were on the path to divorce, raised the idea of “self-talk” as one potential cause of divorce. This pattern of negative self talk, he contends, is a barrier to a couple’s happiness, much more than a lack of open communication is.

Self talk is the equivalent of an individual’s thoughts. He said:

“Most people do not control their thoughts (self-talk), but they allow their thoughts to control them…for instance, if a man speaks negatively to himself about his wife and he permits this self-talk, he will attract a host of other negative thoughts. As a result of these negative thoughts, he will experience negative feelings  anger, jealousy, fear, even hatred, and these negative thoughts and feelings will lead to actions that tend to break up the relationship.”

The previous statement above clues us into one of the deep-seated causes of divorce, and how this can be easily solved, if couples were honest with themselves and with each other. Sometimes, it’s not so much the lack of communication that leads to the breakdown (for after all, aren’t men less talkative and less spontaneous than women?), but the pattern of negative thinking that each spouse continually nurtures.

It is surprising to learn how often trivial the reasons are for divorcing, because their personal frustrations and unresolved personal issues are often blown out of proportion.

The Case for Staying Married (It’s still the best institution there is!)

It all comes down to attitude, doesn’t it? Cynics have called marriage the “old ball and chain.” Many happily married individuals disagree, because they don’t see marriage as slavery and bondage, where one’s natural instincts and desires have to play second fiddle to the happiness of the other half.

Happily married couples say that marriage has taught them to accept each other’s strengths and possibilities. They argue that by doing that, they transform themselves from the ordinary to the extraordinary.

Marriage therefore is an “enabling” form of situation where it means the freedom to be who they really are, to reach for the stars and discover what they are meant to be without ridicule or rejection.

Marriage and Happiness

Many of us have read reports that drive home the message: married people are healthier and happier, and hence live longer than single or celibate individuals.

For one, there is the emotional support they receive when the going gets rough, and the fact that married life provides the opportunities to sustain communication between two people, even if one of the spouses just wants to vent out. In fact one of the reasons people say they like being married is the assurance that there is someone they can come home to at the end of a hard day.

For Better or For Worse…

“For better or for worse” is still very much a strong argument for getting  and staying  married. While some people would be too shy to admit it, the love and support in times of illness can speed up recovery.

People in fact like the “for better or for worse” aspect of marriage because it tells them that no matter what happens, someone will be around.

It goes beyond having a security or safety net. It’s the knowledge that they can count on someone when times are bad, and that alone generates a considerable degree of peace of mind and a sense of calm for the soul.

And here’s a romantic  but true – notion of marriage, to which happily married couples will agree: “Marriage moves us from ego to we-go.

The single self shifts from me first to the sacred union of us…values such as love, honesty, respect, fidelity and dependability form the engine of a good marriage. Little kindnesses are the oil. Without the oil, it will grind. With it, it glides.”8

And how about the simplest reasons for marriage such as: silly little jokes, hugs and cuddling, traveling together, laughing together, quiet times together, mutual friends, sexual intimacy, pillow talk, kissing and making up? Can anyone really put a price tag on these simple pleasures? Don’t they echo the saying that the best things in life are free?

Oh yes, there is love in relationships, but there is deeper love in a marriage that is on its way to its 25th or 50th year. Sir Arthur Wing Pinero sums it nicely: “those who love deeply never grow old; they may die of old age, but they die young.” So did James Thurber: “A lady of 47 who has been married 27 years and has six children knows what love really is and once described it to me like this: love is what you’ve been through with somebody.

People who have remained happily married are those who realize gradually that there are actually two marriage contracts, not just one.

The first contract is what everyone is familiar with  the one that the priest in a wedding ceremony makes official. The second contract is what couples call the silent contract. It is secret, implicit and largely unconscious. It is this second contract that specifies standards and behaviours our partner should fulfill.

The distinguishing characteristic of this contract is our secret belief that our own feelings, needs, and sense of what is right are most important. One’s expectations of the other can carry risks and can lead to clashes, which couples try to resolve among themselves.

Unfortunately, as mentioned earlier, these conversations are rarely objective or fruitful, given that individuals rarely ask if their expectations are fair and reasonable  they just complain endlessly. Happily married couples are those who understand this second silent contract and all of its ramifications.
Happily married couples are those who continue to invest in the marriage, knowing that for love to flourish, it takes hard work and substantial amounts of creativity.

Love and physical attraction may take the backseat, especially when the children arrive, but fulfilled couples know that they must stick it out, through thick and thin, for the sake of the emotional well-being of the children.

When couples think of others and not just themselves and make a continuing effort to make the marriage work, they’ve made the best investment they could ever make and they firmly believe in this.

The need to make the partnership work is often the secret of happy marriages. As Masters and Johnson said, “Although these marriages may be loveless, they are not necessarily bad. Even good marriages are susceptible to a disappearance of love.”10

Marriage and Instinct

Dr. Mary Pipher, a therapist and anthropologist, points to the family as still an essential unit of the community. When people get married, their hopes are linked to building a home and family.

Dr. Pipher maintains that families are ancient institutions. She said that ever since humans crossed the savannas in search of food, our families have been unique…Homo sapiens needs families to survive, and bravo to those millions of parents who are trying hard to do the right thing.

Happily married people understand this very basic concept. It is not just their own nucleus that needs caring, but the entire institution of marriage and the social unit known as a family.

When marriages flourish, so do families, and as a result, communities all over the world also flourish. That is how societies become stronger and progressive. When the smallest unit survives, the larger ones survive.

“I write about families because I love them. When I travel alone far from home, I think of my children’s faces to calm myself down. I picture them smiling, studying, playing violin or volleyball. I picture my husband’s face bent over his guitar or relaxed and fresh, the way it is on the mornings when we drink coffee together on the front porch. Those faces are my mandalas. They comfort and secure me. The faces of those we love are the first, the primal, mandalas for us all.”11

These are the sentiments that happily married people nurture and sustain in their hearts. If they focused on their mandalas instead of on their frustrations and unfulfilled desires, these are the people who have shown an incredible willingness of reaching out, of seeing past their own egos.

(Marriage is not the extension of the romance junkie phase. It is equivalent to a long term commitment that emotionally intelligent husbands and wives understand fully.
They know, deep in their hearts, that love and passion will not always be on the daily agenda, and may diminish as the responsibilities of their marriage take them to the next level  family life.

To conclude this section, here is a statement extracted from the book, Anatomy of Love by Helen E. Fisher:

“When Darwin used the term survival of the fittest, he was not referring to your good looks or your bank account; he was counting your children. If you raise babies that have babies, you are what nature calls fit. You have passed your genes to the next generation and in terms of survival you have won…only in tandem can either men or women reproduce and pass on the beat of life.”

How to Save Your Marriage

We have painted the unpleasant side of divorce to help you realize that it may not necessarily be the solution to your unhappiness, and in the second section, we’ve advanced arguments to promote the numerous advantages of marriage and staying married.

But life does have hitches and will always be full of obstacles, threatening the stability of married life. We now offer some tips on how to save your marriage when you sense that it’s on the rocks or needs a re-overhauling.

Recognizing Gender Differences

Men and women perceive emotion, communication, sex, fidelity, work and money because of the way they were socialized and because they have been shaped by their own parents’ perceptions.

They bring these ideas into the marriage and hence have their own baggage of beliefs regarding what is tolerable and intolerable in a marriage, what they have to give their spouse and what to expect in return.

Writing the book, “For Better or For Worse”, Heatherington and Kelly illustrate this point more clearly when they mention the different ways men and women choose a partner:

“Women approach love as informed consumers…they kick the tires, look under the hood, run the motor, check the mileage. Women love love, but being practical-minded, not enough to ignore potential defects. Good looks and romantic love matter to a woman, but in considering potential suitors, a woman also looks at the practical, such as a suitor’s economic prospects, emotional stability, trustworthiness, and what kind of father he will be…Despite a reputation for practicality, males come off as hopeless romantics. They are much more prone to fall head-over-heels in love…and also more prone to idealize the object of their affection. If the bodywork is good and the grille pretty, often a man will buy on the spot, no questions asked.”

It takes practice to learn that gender differences do not constitute threats to a marriage, but a cause for celebration and an opportunity to expand an individual’s sphere of experience.

Try to remember that your partner is not your mirror image. In a loving, effective partnership, individuality and separateness are wholesome concepts that each spouse must work at.

A Word from the Cos!

Bill Cosby, the famous American comedian and still married to the same woman, said that these gender differences  that women are not just men who can have babies and men are not just women who spike footballs  give marriage its vitality, its dynamics and its delights…He says, “Americans may like the style called unisex, but the wiser French have a devout appreciation of the wonder they call la difference.”

A true understanding of these gender differences should therefore lead us to the proper notion of a marriage. While many people view marriage as a fusion, making two separate individuals one, we must still keep our own personality and deal with our own problems ourselves.

“Marriage is ultimately about two relatively whole individuals coming together to create a union that can be even greater than the sum of the parts. But each of us must always be aware that a lack of self-confidence is own separate job to fix. We can look to our mate for support, but not for magical solutions.”

Notice the Small Stuff

“Don’t sweat the small stuff” is probably one advice that does not always work for marriage, because it is important to notice the small stuff, if the marriage were to flourish. Steve Carter cites an important fact about relationships: most of the real work in relationships is taking place in quieter moments in smaller spaces.

Examples would be:

• avoiding bringing up the defective garage door while your husband is rushing to meet a deadline and needs to focus on his project for a few hours;
• attending to the kids and keeping them away from the kitchen while your wife prepares dinner;
• offering to pick up your husband’s shirts at the dry cleaner’s because he forgot to do it yesterday;filling up the car tank if you know that your husband has to drive out of town on a client visit;
• taking your wife dancing because she’s always loved to dance even if you have two left feet and have always hated it.

And What of Money?

One irritant in a marriage is money.

Chances are spouses have their own ways of spending and saving money. If both husband and wife earn similar salaries, agree on how to split the house expenses prior to getting married so no one feels cheated or disadvantaged financially.

While it was fine to expect him to pay for dinner and the movie while you were dating, marriage calls for a genuine economic partnership.

Or, if you know that your husband is particularly averse to useless shopping sprees, make an effort to reduce your shopping trips and concentrate on the essentials instead of on your whims. Don’t forget to discuss your investment preferences and try to stick to a budget and a savings plan.

And What of Politics?

The same is true for sex and politics: if your husband likes to watch a pornographic films as a prelude to love making, let him know that you’re not particularly in favour of this practice but do indulge him occasionally. If your wife likes to visit synagogue and do charity work in her parish, don’t express any resentment or complain that she’s spending too much time on her fund-raising activities.

Work on keeping your partner stimulated intellectually.

If there’s anything that grates, it’s a wife who constantly talks about what’s on sale and a husband who knows nothing but what teams made it to the NFL playoffs this year.

Look back to courtship days when both of you could talk until the wee hours of the morning because you were interested in what each of you did in the office that day, in that bookseller or movie, or how the Dow Jones sparkled because of news about Intel or Microsoft, etc.

Enrich each other with your experiences and vicarious experiences. Let the other know that you have an interest in life and what it has to offer, and make every effort not to be a boring mate by reading more, experimenting more, and living more.

Alone Time

Many people say that children put a damper on the marriage. Who has time for love and passion when the kids are screaming their lungs off or running a 105 degree fever? Or when money has to be scrounged for to pay for those expensive braces?

Raising children can turn us into impatient, stressed-out beings so if hiring a baby sitter overnight will not disrupt the monthly budget, do so and go away  just the two of you.

But don’t use that time away from children to complain about each other’s habits or to raise past incidents!

Instead of looking at marriage blessed with high points or fraught with low points, think of it instead as a series of turning points.

Turning Points

Dr. Sonya Rhodes says these turning points must be regarded as opportunities to make a marriage stronger and more fulfilling.

These turning points become crystal clear at mid-life where couples have developed a keener sense of time limitations and an urgency in their desire to make the most out of their marriage and their lives.

The mid-life years are a natural time for reflections: couples now have the advantage of being able to see where they have been, where they are and where they want to go. When a 46-year old woman came to see Dr. Rhodes in an effort to save her marriage, she said, “This might be my last chance to make things better. I don’t want last chances to become lost chances.”14

Complimenting and Praising

Give credit where it’s due, be generous with compliments and be sincere in your praise. Do you sometimes find yourself wishing that your partner would compliment you the way your boss does after a job well done?

Many couples discover that as they settle into their marriage, the compliments or kind praises are not as frequent as when they were dating.

Making it a practice to give credit where it’s due and being sincere about your praises go a long way towards reinforcing wellness in a marriage.

If you see that your wife works conscientiously on the treadmill to keep off the weight, did you ever think that she’s probably doing this to please you? Saying something like, “You’re so disciplined in your efforts to achieve your goals, I’m proud of you” will add to her self-confidence and reinforce her attitude that she’s doing something that’s healthy and that you appreciate.

If your husband is good at crunching numbers, praise him for his skills at rapid calculation. “You’re amazing with numbers” will give him a sense of pride, and he will feel important to you.

No doubt many experts and marriage counselors will differ in opinion on how to save a marriage, but they all agree on the following fundamental elements of a solid marriage  only the words and the way they are conveyed are different:

• trust and communication
• respect for each other’s ideas and expectations
• fidelity
• physical and intellectual stimulation
• maintaining their own personalities, but supporting each other’s dreams

The Concept of Friendship in Marriage

Friends are forever. Even if we move out of town or take up residence overseas, we maintain our friendships.

We certainly don’t divorce our friends just because of a misunderstanding, so if we treated our spouse as a dear friend, we probably won’t ever need a divorce lawyer and go through the painful exercise of property division  a course of action that can spell financial ruin for many.

Since love is less permanent (we fall in and out of love a few times in our lifetime) and friendship more durable, every attempt must be made to make our spouse not only a lover and a partner, but also a friend.

Friendship is evident manifestation of maturity. Marriage is a responsibility larger than life, and can be a source of annoyance or profound joy. Only when we turn those annoyances and joys into building blocks for an enduring friendship can we say that we’ve taken the unwavering path to a marriage made in heaven.

Friendship is EVERYTHING!

If there is true friendship between husband and wife, the marriage avoids landing on the rocks. Instead it becomes a rock-hard marriage where no individual or circumstance can put it asunder.

In fact, it is the genuine friendship between two people that put more meaning in the words, “for richer or for poorer, for better or for worse, till death do us part” – what Mary Pipher calls “the shelter of each other.”

Friendship in a marriage means that the marriage will be pregnant with memories of laughter and humour, for didn’t we choose those friends who made us laugh the most? Didn’t our mothers always tell us, “when choosing a husband, count the times he made you laugh.”

Friendship also means open and honest communication; a no holds barred type of union where our comfort level with our spouse goes beyond 100%, assured that what we say and how we say it will not be judged or taken in a negative light.

If you talk to married people, a wish they frequently express is that they remain the best of friends and the closest of companions. Surveys in fact reveal that if there is one component that will enable a couple to weather the tough times, it is friendship.

As a famous poet once said, “No man is an island.” Kinder and Cowan agree that friendship is the antidote to loneliness. Getting married does not mean that people will never experience loneliness, “but it does diminish our sense of separateness.”

Friendship between couples generates wholesome feelings of goodwill and fidelity. Our spouse  our friend  has our interests at heart, will not betray us and will be our staunchest supporter. Friendship also makes spouses stronger; this strength is reinforced by the joy of shared history, of nostalgia and plans for the future.

Romance is a good thing, and we could use heaps of it when our relationships get rocky. But mature friends are aware that romance can be a barrier to friendship. Why? Because romance obliterates the darker side of our existence  our fears, anxieties, and insecurities. Yet, it is those fears, anxieties and insecurities that naturally draw us to our friend.

Friendship in a marriage brings about the recognition that flux, de-stabilization and disruption are what Dr. Rhodes calls the “first steps in the dynamic process of repair, rebuilding and renewal.”15

Familiarity does NOT breed contempt. It breeds content. A sense of contentment equates with satisfaction, warmth, and unwavering assurance. Sharing a life together in love and friendship makes for a book that is deeper and thicker in shared histories, in content.

If you were to ask a happy bachelor and a happily married man to each write their stories, you’d get a positive narration from both. The single person’s perspective would however be I, me and myself  and possibly a string of blind dates and Saturday nights alone. The married man will talk about “us”, of mutual interests  a story definitely made richer because there are two stories, not one.

Conclusion

We like to be judged in terms of what we have accomplished in the human relationships department. Read this statement:

“I managed to get my client half of her husband’s properties overseas and alimony and child support payments of close to $250,000 a year plus the three cars, the country home, his art collection and half of his stocks.”

Compare the foregoing with this one:

“I didn’t really do anything special that I can be proud of, except perhaps provide adequately for my family and raise good children. Happily, they turned out to be well-abiding citizens and I guess that’s the best reward there is.”

In the first statement, we see shades of greed and materialism, in the second, humility and self-effacement. Who has made a genuine contribution for the betterment of society?

Much as it sounds terribly old-fashioned, marriage is a commitment, and individuals must make every attempt not to cheapen that commitment in any way. Staying married is a lifelong, missionary-like endeavour.

It takes guts. It takes nerves of steel to make a marriage work. A sense of humour and a lower degree of self-importance can sustain us in that work.

The obstacles will be numerous, and there will be situations where we will question our sanity, unsure if we can really hang in there.

It will be a monumental effort to remain attracted to the same qualities that attracted you to your spouse on the first day you met. Your spouse is still the same person you fell in love with, he has not changed his soul, his being, only his wardrobe.

So if there’s only way to divorce, but a thousand ways to save your marriage, which path will you choose? Are you going to throw in the towel or take up one more challenge?

There’s very little meaning to saving face or saving dollars; it’s much more noble and enduring to save souls. But you won’t unlock the meaning of this statement in your youth or in your 30’s.

Best to wait until you reach mid-life, until your maturity has come full circle, and you get to the point where you don’t want to turn your back on the most important investment of your life, where every nerve of your body cries out, “You’ve got to save us.”

Heavenly order in the body.
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In order to understand a subject clearly, certain general laws, or principles, must be seen and admitted. And here we assume, as a general truth, that health in the human body is normal heavenly order on the physical plane of life, and that any disturbance of that order exposes the man to destructive influences, which are evil and infernal in their character. Above the natural and physical plane, and resting upon it, while man lives in this world, is the mental and spiritual plane, or degree of life. This degree is in heavenly order when the reason is clear, and the appetites and passions under its wise control. But, if, through any cause, this fine equipoise is disturbed, or lost, then a way is opened for the influx of more subtle evil influences than such as invade the body, because they have power to act upon the reason and the passions, obscuring the one and inflaming the others.

We know how surely the loss of bodily health results in mental disturbance. If the seat of disease be remote from the brain, the disturbance is usually slight; but it increases as the trouble comes nearer and nearer to that organ, and shows itself in multiform ways according to character, temperament or inherited disposition; but almost always in a predominance of what is evil instead of good. There will be fretfulness, or ill-nature, or selfish exactions, or mental obscurity, or unreasoning demands, or, it may be, vicious and cruel propensities, where, when the brain was undisturbed by disease, reason held rule with patience and loving kindness. If the disease which has attacked the brain goes on increasing, the mental disease which follows as a consequence of organic disturbance or deterioration, will have increased also, until insanity may be established in some one or more of its many sad and varied forms.

Insanity.
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It is, therefore, a very serious thing for a man to take into his body any substance which, on reaching that wonderfully delicate organ the brain, sets up therein a diseased action; for, diseased mental action is sure to follow. A fever is a fever, whether it be light or intensely burning; and so any disturbance of the mind’s rational equipoise is insanity, whether it be in the simplest form of temporary obscurity, or in the midnight of a totally darkened intellect.

We are not writing in the interest of any special theory, nor in the spirit of partisanship; but with an earnest desire to make the truth appear. You must not accept anything simply because we say it, but because he sees it to be true. Now, as to this matter of insanity, let him think calmly. The word is one that gives us a shock; and, as we hear it, we almost involuntarily thank God for the good gift of a well-balanced mind. What, if from any cause this beautiful equipoise should be disturbed and the mind lose its power to think clearly, or to hold the lower passions in due control? Shall we exceed the truth if we say that the man in whom this takes place is insane just in the degree that he has lost his rational self-control; and that he is restored when he regains that control?

In this view, the question as to the hurtfulness of alcoholic drinks assumes a new and graver aspect. Do they disturb the brain when they come in contact with its substance; and deteriorate it if the contact be long continued? Fact, observation, experience and scientific investigation all emphatically say yes; and we know that if the brain be disordered the mind, will be disordered, likewise; and a disordered mind is an insane mind. Clearly, then, in the degree that a man impairs or hurts his brain temporarily or continuously in that degree his mind is unbalanced; in that degree he is not a truly rational and sane man.

We are holding your thought just here that you may have time to think, and to look at the question in the light of reason and common sense. So far as he does this, will he be able to feel the force of such evidence as we shall educe in what follows, and to comprehend its true meaning.

Other substances besides alcohol act injuriously on the brain; but there is none that compares with this in the extent, variety and diabolical aspect of the mental aberrations which follow its use. We are not speaking thoughtlessly or wildly; but simply uttering a truth well-known to every man of observation, and which every man, and especially those who take this substance in any form, should, lay deeply to heart. Why it is that such awful and destructive forms of insanity should follow, as they do, the use of alcohol it is not for us to say. That they do follow it, we know, and we hold, up the fact in solemn warning.

Another consideration, which should have weight with every one, is this, that no man can tell what may be the character of the legacy he has received from his ancestors. He may have an inheritance of latent evil forces, transmitted through many generations, which only await some favoring opportunity to spring into life and action. So long as he maintains a rational self-control, and the healthy order of his life be not disturbed, they may continue quiescent; but if his brain loses its equipoise, or is hurt or impaired, then a diseased psychical condition may be induced and the latent evil forces be quickened into life.

“Suppose, then, a certain measure of alcohol be taken into the stomach, it will be absorbed there, but, previous to absorption, it will have to undergo a proper degree of dilution with water, for there is this peculiarity respecting alcohol when it is separated by an animal membrane from a watery fluid like the blood, that it will not pass through the membrane until it has become charged, to a given point of dilution, with water. It is itself, in fact, so greedy for water, it will pick it up from watery textures, and deprive them of it until, by its saturation, its power of reception is exhausted , after which it will diffuse into the current of circulating fluid.”

It is this power of absorbing water from every texture with which alcoholic spirits comes in contact, that creates the burning thirst of those who freely indulge in its use. Its effect, when it reaches the circulation, is thus described by Dr. Richardson:

“As it passes through the circulation of the lungs it is exposed to the air, and some little of it, raised into vapor by the natural heat, is thrown off in expiration. If the quantity of it be large, this loss may be considerable, and the odor of the spirit may be detected in the expired breath. If the quantity be small, the loss will be comparatively little, as the spirit will be held in solution by the water in the blood. After it has passed through the lungs, and has been driven by the left heart over the arterial circuit, it passes into what is called the minute circulation, or the structural circulation of the organism. The arteries here extend into very small vessels, which are called arterioles, and from these infinitely small vessels spring the equally minute radicals or roots of the veins, which are ultimately to become the great rivers bearing the blood back to the heart. In its passage through this minute circulation the alcohol finds its way to every organ. To this brain, to these muscles, to these secreting or excreting organs, nay, even into this bony structure itself, it moves with the blood. In some of these parts which are not excreting, it remains for a time diffused, and in those parts where there is a large percentage of water, it remains longer than in other parts. From some organs which have an open tube for conveying fluids away, as the liver and kidneys, it is thrown out or eliminated, and in this way a portion of it is ultimately removed from the body. The rest passing round and round with the circulation, is probably decomposed and carried off in new forms of matter.

“When we know the course which the alcohol takes in its passage through the body, from the period of its absorption to that of its elimination, we are the better able to judge what physical changes it induces in the different organs and structures with which it comes in contact. It first reaches the blood; but, as a rule, the quantity of it that enters is insufficient to produce any material effect on that fluid. If, however, the dose taken be poisonous or semi-poisonous, then even the blood, rich as it is in water and it contains seven hundred and ninety parts in a thousand is affected. The alcohol is diffused through this water, and there it comes in contact with the other constituent parts, with the fibrine, that plastic substance which, when blood is drawn, clots and coagulates, and which is present in the proportion of from two to three parts in a thousand; with the albumen which exists in the proportion of seventy parts; with the salts which yield about ten parts; with the fatty matters; and lastly, with those minute, round bodies which float in myriads in the blood (which were discovered by the Dutch philosopher, Leuwenhock, as one of the first results of microscopical observation, about the middle of the seventeenth century), and which are called the blood globules or corpuscles. These last-named bodies are, in fact, cells; their discs, when natural, have a smooth outline, they are depressed in the centre, and they are red in color; the color of the blood being derived from them. We have discovered that there exist other corpuscles or cells in the blood in much smaller quantity, which are called white cells, and these different cells float in the blood-stream within the vessels. The red take the centre of the stream; the white lie externally near the sides of the vessels, moving less quickly. Our business is mainly with the red corpuscles. They perform the most important functions in the economy; they absorb, in great part, the oxygen which we inhale in breathing, and carry it to the extreme tissues of the body; they absorb, in great part, the carbonic acid gas which is produced in the combustion of the body in the extreme tissues, and bring that gas back to the lungs to be exchanged for oxygen there; in short, they are the vital instruments of the circulation.

“With all these parts of the blood, with the water, fibrine, albumen, salts, fatty matter and corpuscles, the alcohol comes in contact when it enters the blood, and, if it be in sufficient quantity, it produces disturbing action. I have watched this disturbance very carefully on the blood corpuscles; for, in some animals we can see these floating along during life, and we can also observe them from men who are under the effects of alcohol, by removing a speck of blood, and examining it with the microscope. The action of the alcohol, when it is observable, is varied. It may cause the corpuscles to run too closely together, and to adhere in rolls; it may modify their outline, making the clear-defined, smooth, outer edge irregular or crenate, or even starlike; it may change the round corpuscle into the oval form, or, in very extreme cases, it may produce what I may call a truncated form of corpuscles, in which the change is so great that if we did not trace it through all its stages, we should be puzzled to know whether the object looked at were indeed a blood-cell. All these changes are due to the action of the spirit upon the water contained in the corpuscles; upon the capacity of the spirit to extract water from them. During every stage of modification of corpuscles thus described, their function to absorb and fix gases is impaired, and when the aggregation of the cells, in masses, is great, other difficulties arise, for the cells, united together, pass less easily than they should through the minute vessels of the lungs and of the general circulation, and impede the current, by which local injury is produced.

“A further action upon the blood, instituted by alcohol in excess, is upon the fibrine or the plastic colloidal matter. On this the spirit may act in two different ways, according to the degree in which it affects the water that holds the fibrine in solution. It may fix the water with the fibrine, and thus destroy the power of coagulation; or it may extract the water so determinately as to produce coagulation.”

Millions of people around the world struggle with their weight, and they aim towards effective weight loss. Most of them struggle with this ordeal for many years until they finally find the formula that works best for them. With so many fad diets and pills on the market, it can be frustrating to know which one works best. In fact, most people who end up losing weight after dieting end up gaining the weight back and then some months later. Fortunately, there are new ways to get the weight off and continue with a healthy lifestyle.

A new way that people are starting to lose weight is known as the stop watch method. The general rule of thumb with this method is to remember that you typically only have food cravings approximately every eight to fourteen minutes. Based on this fact, you can do a better job of not giving in to cravings. If you can get past your food cravings and choose either a healthy snack or a glass of water over a cookie, then you’re on your way to losing weight.

Understanding how your body works and how cravings affect you will help to shed light on how this particular weight loss method works. Listening to your body and understanding when and why you’re hungry will help you to resist temptation and opt for healthier choices. Having something healthy with you at all times is especially important. Since your body does tell you when it’s hungry, it is much better to satisfy it with a light and healthy snack. This option will help you feel full, kick start your metabolism, and assist you with resisting temptation.

When you’ve been sitting at work all day and you get hungrier and hungrier, the odds are that you’ll want to pitch in and order that pizza or go out to lunch and get a huge hamburger with French fries. The stop watch method can help you avoid this common mistake, and in turn help you to lose weight. A huge key to success with this method is to really listen to your body. When you get a craving, use a stopwatch or a timer, and immediately set it for fifteen minutes. Let it run down, and drink a cold glass of water or have a small snack that is high in protein.

Some examples of high protein snacks include beef jerky or peanut butter toast. Avoid food with sugar, as these can throw your glucose level all out of whack and only intensify your cravings. As you avoid overeating when you have a craving, you’re gaining self-discipline. After all, this is one of the main reasons that most diets fail. The lack of self-control is what gets most f us into trouble when it comes to eating too much. Once you get that control back, you’re on your way to losing weight.

It’s a little known fact that often our body mistakes feeling thirsty for hunger. In other words, when we feel hungry, many times we are actually just thirsty. Drinking water can help you to feel full and can also let you avoid eating something you shouldn’t be. Drink a tall glass of water when you feel hungry and watch your metabolism take off. Studies have shown that water increases metabolism and helps us to be more “regular” when it comes to our digestive system.

If you choose to eat a small snack when you get a craving, be sure you make a smart choice. Foods high in fiber are great since they help you to feel full, and can also keep your digestive track working well. Apples are a great example of a food that is very high in fiber and healthy for you. If you don’t want to eat fruit, try carrot or celery sticks instead. Sometimes just the act of eating something crunchy can help you to not feel so hungry or want to munch on that bag of fatty potato chips.

The real secret to success with the stop watch method is to be fully aware of the signals your body is sending you. If you feel hungry, simply stop for a few minutes and think about it. How truly hungry are you, or do you just want to eat something? Opt for water instead and see if you still fee hungry afterwards. If so, then progress to the healthy snack and see how you feel. By this point you should feel better, your insulin levels should be regulated, and your craving should be gone. And the best part is that you did not splurge on junk food or fast food, but instead chose a light snack that is good for you.

Perhaps the most significant part of this entire method to losing weight is the fact that you will gain more control over your life and what you eat. Once you get the control back, the rest is easy. It’s learning all over again how to cope with hunger and how to make right choices that is the most difficult part. Once you learn to get past it, you can accomplish your weight loss goals. You do not have to purchase a stop watch, but it is an effective little tool to help you remember to pay attention to what you’re feeling.

Studies have actually shown that people who eat about five small meals per day instead of three larger ones can lose weight much faster. This is because our bodies should eat when it’s hungry, and not when we think we are supposed to. This allows our metabolism to start working better and tells us we’re still awake and ready to move on in our day. If we don’t feed the body, it can go into “starvation mode” and store fat for energy. By feeding ourselves healthy foods when we do feel hungry, we tell our body that it’s not starving, but instead being fed.

This method is not a get thin quick scheme. Instead, it requires you to think differently and adapt your lifestyle accordingly. Once you get into the habit of pausing and thinking about what you plan to do when you get hungry or have cravings, you can then move forward in a more positive and healthy way. It’s not so much the fact that you begin drinking more water or eating healthier foods as it is the fact that you’re gaining discipline. Self control is the key to kicking addictions and the key to accomplishing goals.

When a craving hits, try to remember that it should pass. Remember as mentioned before, that a typical craving only lasts about eight to fourteen minutes. If you can get through that time frame, odds are you will not be hungry when it’s over. Just because you feel hungry at one point does not mean you have to stuff your face with Oreos or chips. In time, the craving will subside and you will forget all about it. If you don’t want to snack when the cravings hit, try chewing a piece of sugar free gum or eat a breath mint.

An important thing to know is what to avoid if and when you decide to eat a snack. Avoid foods that are high in carbohydrates like pretzels, chips, white bread, etc. Also avoid things that are very high in sugar like mentioned before. This includes cookies, cake, candy bars, and even hard candy that contain sugar. Sugar can really throw your insulin levels out of whack. When this happens, the body converts the glucose into fat, and you still feel hungry. Try to avoid sugar at all costs. Some naturally occurring sugar in things like fruit is OK, since it is a different type of sugar that should have little or no effect on your insulin levels.

On the good side you can enjoy lots of excellent snacking foods. Nuts and sunflower seeds are very high in healthy proteins and essential oils that are good for your heart. Oats and oatmeal are another good option and they also make you feel full very quickly and for longer periods of time. The key here is twofold: choose snacks that are healthy but also choose snacks that will help you avoid those cravings later on.

For meals, you should also follow the same basic rule. Fish and poultry are better options than most red meats. Cheese is ok in moderation, and low fat cheese is even better since it does not contain as many empty calories. Avocados are a great choice for a food high in vitamins and protein. Eggs are also great. Boil some eggs and bring them to snack on or make your own egg salad sandwich on whole wheat bread.

The key to the stop watch method is much like many other diets you’ve probably already heard about. Remembering to curb cravings and eat healthy seems easy enough at first, but it can be more difficult as time goes on. Pulling out the timer will help you to remember that the feeling of being really hungry or wanting bad foods will pass within that fifteen minute time frame. And, if it does not you are not denied anything. You are not forbidden to eat food when you feel hungry; instead you have an option to eat a healthy snack that will satisfy you.

If dessert is what you crave, try a fat free yogurt with lower sugar instead. Fruit is also great, and things like cherries, plums, pears, and strawberries are all lower on the glycemic index, which means they should not cause weight gain. Of course, whole grains are also important and can help to regulate blood sugar. They also regulate your digestive system and rid the body of cholesterol. Eating whole grain breads and pastas are an excellent alternative to white bread and white pasta.

If you do snack, and when you actually eat meals it’s also important to remember to eat slowly. I have found that the slower you eat, the less hungry you will feel later on. In addition, it is better for your body and teaches it to digest the food completely and properly. It can take up to 20 minutes for the brain to communicate to the body that it’s full. This means the longer you take to eat, the sooner you’ll feel full and the less you’ll want to eat later on.

I have tried many different diets over the years, and some were more effective than others. Essentially this method combines some of the basic principles of these diets and allows you to get some self control back in your life. When we have control over our lives and what we put into our bodies, we have a higher self esteem and feel better about ourselves. When I started dieting, I wanted to see results overnight much like most of the people reading. But in time I learned that it takes patience and dedication to truly lose weight and keep it off.

You may want to use a scale, but if you do, it’s advised that you don’t weigh yourself more than once per week. Weighing in every day can be discouraging since the body’s weight does and will fluctuate. Try to weigh yourself on the same day and at the same time each week. Also remember that water weight is usually lost first, and then the actual fat comes off later. Real fat loss can take time, so be patient. Build muscle if you can since muscle allows the body to burn fat.

You might not notice a difference on the scale right away. I know it took me a few weeks before pounds literally started to come off. However, you can really tell that you’re losing weight by how your clothes fit. This is a great way to track your success. The real key is to try not to give up. If you feel like you’re slipping, just pick yourself up and try all over again. An occasional treat or night out is ok, but your overall eating habits must change in order to lose real weight. Make a list of all of the healthy foods you like and buy them for snacks. Only choose things you enjoy eating.

The stop watch method is excellent since it focuses on self discipline and self awareness. Once you’ve realized how to control your cravings and supplement them with healthy eating, this new way of life will translate into other aspects of your life. Perhaps you need to cut down on caffeine, exercise more, or even quit smoking. Losing weight and eating better is the first step to an overall healthier lifestyle. You will find that you sleep better, have more energy, and even feel better emotionally and mentally.

If you feel a little discouraged see if you can recruit a partner to diet with you. This way, you have a support system and you have someone who can hold you accountable. Keep a food diary and write down every single thing you eat each day, and at what time. Combining all of these things will really help you to do better and lose weight more effectively. It does take effort and patience but once you can recognize what true cravings are and you know how to squelch them, your overeating issues should be solved.

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Tongue is a muscular organ associated with the function of deglutition,taste and speech.It acts as an easily accessible organ for the assessment of health of an individual and shows the state of hydration of the body.It is said that tongue is the mirror of the gastrointestinal system and any abnormal functioning of the stomach and intestines will be reflected on the tongue.

Some characteristic changes occur in the tongue in some particular diseases.That is why the examination of the tongue is very essential and will give some clues for diagnosis.All doctors examine the tongue and they consider the changes in size,shape,,colour,moisture,coating,nature of papillae and movements ect.

Appearance of tongue in some abnormal conditions:-

1) Movements of the tongue:-

a) In one sided paralysis of the body(hemiplegia)tongue moves towards the parylised side when protruded.

b) Tremulus movement of the tongue is seen in diseases like thyrotoxicosis,delirium tremens and parkinsonisum.Tremor is also seen in nervous patients.

c) In progressive bulbar palsy there will be wasting and paralysis of the tongue with fibrillation.Eventually the tongue gets shrivelled and lies functionless in the floor of the mouth.This condition is associated with dribbling of saliva and loss of speech.

d) In chorea(involuntary rhythmic movements) the patient may not be able to keep the protruded tongue in rest,it will be moving involuntarily.

2) Moistness of the tongue:-

The moistness of the tongue gives some indication about the state of hydration of the body.Water volume depletion leads to peripheral circulatory failure characterised by weakness,thirst,restlessness,anorexia,nausea,vomiting ,dry and parched tongue.

Dryness of the tongue is seen in following conditions.

a) Diarrhoea
b) Later stages of severe illness
c) Advanced uraemia
d) Hypovolumic shock
e) Heat exhaustion
f) Hyponatraemia
g) Acute intestinal obstruction
h) Starvation
i) Prlonged fasting.

3) Change in colour of tongue:-

a) Central cyanosis:-

Cyanosis is the bluish discolouration of the mucus membrane due to decrease in the amount of oxygen in the blood.This is seen in heart failure,respiratory failure and in anoxia.In cyanosis tongue,lips ect becomes pale bluish.

b) Jaundice:-

This is the yellowish discolouration of all mucus surfaces of the body (including tongue)due to increase of bilirubin in the blood.Jaundice is seen in hepatitis,bile duct obstruction,increased destruction of RBCs and ect…

c) Advanced uremia:-

This is the increase of urea and other nitrogenous waste products in the blood due to kidney failure.Here the tongue become brown in colour.

d) Keto acidosis:-

This is the acidosis with accumulation of ketone bodies seen mainly in diabetes mellitus.Here the tongue become brown with a typical ketone smell from the mouth.

e) Riboflavin deficiency:-

Deficiency of this vitamin (vitamin B2) produces megenta colour of the tongue with soreness and fissures of lips.

f) Niacin deficiency:-

Deficiency of niacin (vitamin B3)and some other B complex vitamins results in bright scarlet or beefy red tongue.

g) Anaemia:-

It is the decrease in haemoglobin percentage of the blood.In severe anaemia tongue becomes pale.

4) Coating on the tongue:-

a) Bad breath:-

The main cause for bad breath is formation of a pasty coating(bio film) on the tongue which lodges thousands of anaerobic bacteria resulting in the production of offenssive gases.Those who complain about bad breath may have thick coating on the posterior part of the tongue.

b) Typhoid fever:-

In typhoid fever tongue becomes white coared like a fur.

c) Candidiasis;-

It is a fungal infection which affects the mucus surfaces of the body.On the tongue there will be sloughing white lesions.

d) In diabetes and hypoadrenalism there will be sloughing white lesions.

e) Secondary syphilis:-

Syphilis is a sexually transmitted diseased caused by trepenoma pallidum infection.In secondary stage of this disease we can see mucous patches which are painless,smooth white glystening opalescent plaques which can not be scraped off easily.

f) Leokoplakia:-

Here white keratotic patches are seen on the tongue and oral cavity.This is a precancerous condition.

g) AIDS:-

In these patients hairy leukoplakia is seen.

h) Peritonitis:-

It is the inflammation of the peritonium(inner covering of abdominal cavity which also covers the intestines and keep them in position) in this condition there is white furring of the tongue.

i) Acute illness:-

Furring is also seen in some acute diseases.

5) Papillae:-

These are small projections on the rongue associated with taste.There are different type of papillae on the healthy tongue.In some diseases there are some abnormal changes which are following.

a) Hairy tongue:-

This condition is due to elongation of filiform papillae seen in poor oral hygeine ,general debility and indigestion.

b) Geographic tongue:-

Here irregular red and white patches appear on the tongue.These lesions looks like a geographic map.The excact cause is not known.

c) Median rhomboid glossitis:-

In this condition there is smooth nodular red area in the posterior mid line of the tongue.This is a congenital condition.

d) Nutritional deficiency:-

In nutrional deficiency there is glossitis(inflammation of tongue) leading to papillary hypertrophy followed by atrophy.

e) Benign migratory glossitis:-

It is an inflamatory condition of the tongue where multiple annular areas of desquamation of papillae appear on the tongue which shift from area to area in few days.

f) Thiamine and riboflavin deficiency:-

Deficiency of these vitamins cause hypertrophied filiform and fungiform papillae.

g) Niacin and iron deficiency:-

In this condition there is atrophy of papillae.Smooth tongue is encountered in iron deficiency.

h) Vitamin A deficiency:-

This causes furrowed tongue.

i) In nutritional megaloblastic anaemia tongue becomes smooth.

j) Folic acid deficiency:-

Here macrocytic megaloblastic anaemia with glossitis is seen.

k) Cyano coblamine deficiency:-

Here glossitis with macrocytic megaloblastic anaemia and peripheral neuropathy is encountered.

l) Scarlet fever;-

In this streptococcal infection there is bright red papillae standing out of a thick white fur ,later the white coat disappear leaving enlarged papillae on the bright red surface and is called strawberry tongue.

6) Ulcers on the tongue:–

a) Apthous ulcer:-

These are round painful ulcers appear in stressed individuals frequently. May be associated with food allergy.Usual sites are tongue,lips,oral mucosa and ect.

b) Herpes simplex:-

It is an acute vesicular eruptions produced by herpes simplex virus.When these vesicles rupture it forms ulcers.

c) Ulcer in cancer:-

Cancerous ulcers are having everted edges with hard base.Bleeding is also seen.Cancer of the tongue is common in tobacco chewers.

d) Syphilitic ulcers:-

Syphilitic fissures are longitudinal in direction.In primary syphilis extra genital chancre is seen on the tongue.In secondary syphilis multiple shallow ulcers are seen on the under surface and sides of the tongue.In tertiary syphilis gumma may be seen on the midline of the dorsum of the tongue.

e) Dental ulcers:-

These ulcers are produced by sharp edges of carious teeth.

We have all heard the seemingly discriminating remarks that fear is normal and abnormal, and that normal fear is to be regarded as a friend, while abnormal fear should be destroyed as an enemy.

The fact is that no so called normal fear can be named which has not been clearly absent in some people who have had every cause therefor. If you will run over human history in your mind, or look about yea in the present life, you will find here and there persons who, in situations or before objects which ought, as any fearful soul will insist, to inspire the feeling of at least normal self-protecting fear, are nevertheless wholly without the feeling. They possess every feeling and thought demanded except fear. The idea of self-preservation is as strongly present as with the most abjectly timid or terrified, but fear they do not know. This fearless awareness of fear suggesting conditions may be due to several causes. It may result from constitutional make-up, or from long continued training or habituation, or from religious ecstasy, or from a perfectly calm sense of spiritual selfhood which is unhurtable, or from the action of very exalted reason. Whatever the explanation, the fact remains: the very causes which excite fear in most of us, merely appeal, with such people, if at all. to the instinct of self-preservation and to reason, the thought-element of the soul which makes for personal peace and wholeness.

Banish all fear.

It is on such considerations that I have come to hold that all real fear-feeling should and may be banished from our life, and that what we call “normal fear” should be substituted in our language by “instinct” or by “reason,” the element of fear being dropped altogether.

“Everyone can testify that the psychical state called fear consists of mental representations of certain painful results” (James). The mental representations may be very faint as such, but the idea of hurt to self is surely present. If, then, it can be profoundly believed that the real self cannot be hurt; if the reason can be brought to consider vividly and believingly all quieting considerations; if the self can be held consciously in the assurance that the White Life surrounds the true self, and is surely within that self, and will suffer “no evil to come nigh,” while all the instincts of self preservation may be perfectly active, fear itself must be removed “as far as the east is from the west.”

These are the ways, then, in which any occasion for fear may be divided:

As a warning and as a maker of panic. But let us say that the warning should be understood as given to reason, that fear need not appear at all, and that the panic is perfectly useless pain. With these discriminations in mind, we may now go on to a preliminary study of fear.

preliminary study of fear.

Fear is (a) an impulse, (b) a habit, (c) a disease.

Fear, as it exists in man, is a make-believe of sanity, a creature of the imagination, a state of insanity.

Furthermore, fear is, now of the nerves, now of the mind, now of the moral consciousness.

The division depends upon the point of view. What is commonly called normal fear should give place to reason, using the word to cover instinct as well as thought. From the correct point of view all fear is an evil so long as entertained.

Whatever its manifestations, wherever its apparent location, fear is a psychic state, of course, reacting upon the individual in several ways: as, in the nerves, in mental moods, in a single impulse, in a chronic habit, in a totally unbalanced condition. The reaction has always a good intention, meaning, in each case, “Take care! Danger!” You will see that this is so if you will look for a moment at three comprehensive kinds of fear fear of self, fear for self, fear for others. Fear of self is indirectly fear for self danger. Fear for others signifies foresensed or forepictured distress to self because of anticipated misfortune to others. I often wonder whether, when we fear for others, it is distress to self or hurt to them that is most emphatically in our thought.

Fear, then, is usually regarded as the soul’s danger signal. But the true signal is instinctive and thoughtful reason.

Even instinct and reason, acting as warning, may perform their duty abnormally, or assume abnormal proportions. And then we have the feeling of fear. The normal warning is induced by actual danger apprehended by mind in a state of balance and self-control. Normal mind is always capable of such warning. There are but two ways in which so-called normal fear, acting in the guise of reason, may be annihilated: by the substitution of reason for fear, and by the assurance of the white life.

Let it be understood, now, that by normal fear is here meant normal reason real fear being denied place and function altogether. Then we may say that such action of reason is a benefactor to man. It is, with pain and weariness, the philanthropy of the nature of things within us.

One person said: “Tired? No such word in my house!” Now this cannot be a sound and healthy attitude. Weariness, at a certain stage of effort, is a signal to stop work. When one becomes so absorbed in labor as to lose consciousness of the feeling of weariness, he has issued a “hurry call” on death. I do not deny that the soul may cultivate a sublime sense of buoyancy and power; rather do I urge you to seek that beautiful condition; but I hold that when a belief or a hallucination refuses to permit you to hear the warning of nerves and muscles, Nature will work disaster inevitably. Let us stand for the larger liberty which is joyously free to take advantage of everything Nature may offer for true well-being. There is a partial liberty which tries to realize itself by denying various realities as real; there is a higher liberty which really realizes itself by conceding such realities as real and by using or disusing them as occasion may require in the interest of the self at its best. I hold this to be true wisdom: to take advantage of everything which evidently promises good to the self, without regard to this or that theory, and freely to use all things, material or immaterial, reasonable or spiritual. I embrace your science or your method; but I beg to ignore your bondage to philosophy or to consistency. So I say that to normal health the weary-sense is a rational command to replenish exhausted nerves and muscles.

It is not liberty, it is not healthful, to declare, “There is no pain!” Pain does exist, whatever you affirm, and your affirmation that it does not is proof that it does exist, for why (and how) declare the non-existence of that which actually is non-existent? But if you say, “As a matter of fact I have pain, but I am earnestly striving to ignore it, and to cultivate thought-health so that the cause of pain may be removed,” that is sane and beautiful. This is the commendable attitude of the Bible character who cried: “Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief.” To undertake swamping pain with a cloud of psychological fog that is to turn anarchist against the good government of Nature. By pain Nature informs the individual that he is somewhere out of order. This warning is normal. The feeling becomes abnormal in the mind when imagination twangs the nerves with reiterated irritation, and Will, confused by the discord and the psychic chaos, cowers and shivers with fear.

I do not say there is no such thing as fear. Fear does exist. But it exists in your life by your permission only, not because it is needful as a warning against “evil.”

Fear is induced by unduly magnifying actual danger, or by conjuring up fictitious dangers through excessive and misdirected psychical reactions. This also may be taken as a signal of danger, but it is a falsely-intentioned witness, for it is not needed, is hostile to the individual because it threatens self-control and it absorbs life’s forces in useless and destructive work when they ought to be engaged in creating values.

The protein in the food debris are degraded by the anaerobic bacteria present in the mouth.Offenssive odor is produced due to release of some gases like hydrogen sulphide,skatol ect due to bacterial activity.Formation of a thin sticky membrane on the tongue favoures bacterial growth.Bactrera are also seen in the crypts of tonsils ,dental caries,dental pockets ect.Bad breath is associated with oral hygiene,caries,gingivitis,tonsillitis,tonsillar plaques,food habits,water intake ,tobacco chewing,stomach and liver diseases and ect.

Homoeopathy is a system of medicine introduced by a german physician Dr Samuel Hahnemann.Homoeopathy treats the diseased individual as a whole rather than treating diseased parts or organs.The physical,mental,emotional,social spheres of a person is considered for a permanent cure.This system believes that the diseases are caused due to the derangement of vital force which is an invisible power in every individual.In a healthy state the vital force maintains the equilibrium of mind body and soul .During this man will have normal sensations and functions.When the vital force gets affected there will be external manifestations in the form of signs and symptoms.The imbalance in the body functions makes a shelter for forign organisms(bacteria,viruses,fungi,protozoa ect) and allow them to proliferate &produce so called diseases.Homoeopathy believes thet the real desease comes before the bacteria & viruses,hence the root cause of the disease has to be treated for a permenent cure.The antibacterial and antiviral agents only remove the secondary causes mentioned above.

Diseases are produced by noxious morbific agents called Miasms which are dynamic influences which affect the vital force.There are mainly three miasms PSORA ,SYPHILIS&SYCOSIS. These three causes are accepted by other schools of medicine but called by different names. Psora causes functional disturbances, syphilis cause structural changes in the form of destructions and sycosis causes changes in the form of overgrowth.These three miasms can act individually or in combined form producing different disease conditions.

To treat bad breath with homoeopathic medicine is easy if correct remedy in suitable dose is given. In the homoeopathic medical repertory by Dr Robin Murphy there are 140 homoeopathic drugs mentioned for bad breath.So just giving one drug for bad breath may not give good result.To come to a correct remedial diagnosis we should have the symptomatology of the person .It is the total symptoms of a person which includes mental generals,physical generals,particular symptoms ect.Bad breath is considered as a physical general symptom .Eventhough it comes only from a part of the body it affects the whole individual.

Symptoms related with appetite,thirst,bowels ect are included in physical generals.
All signs and symptoms (mental&physical)of the person is taken in detail.Knowledge about past illneses,family history of diseases,food & bowel habits,relation to climatic changes and constitution ect are noted down in a systematic order.

Mental symptoms:

example: fear,anxiety,depression,anger,jealousy and ect….

Physical symptoms:

example: Body makeup,appetite,thirst,desires,aversions,bowels,urination,sleep,taste, nature of smell,discharges any abnormal sensations like pain, burning ,climatic changes,thermal relations, and ect….

Peculiar uncommon symptoms:

This is the speciality of homoeopathic system of medicine.For the selection of a suitable remedy these symptoms are very important.common symptoms which are seen almost in all patients are least important.

particular/local signs&symptoms:

This include signs &symptoms related to body parts &organs.

example: Coating on the tongue,nature of mucus membrane of oral cavity, tonsils, gums, teeth, ulcers, discolourations ect are considered here.

Systemic & general physical examination:-

Bad breath can be due to various systemic and disorders.Hence all systems ( respiratory system ,digestive system,nervous system, cardio vascular system and ect )and parts from head to foot should be examined.

provisional disease diagnosis; Here probable diseases are diagnosed. In homoeopathy disease diagnosis is not that much important for the selection of a remedy,but needed for general management and to know the prognosis.

Investigations:

This includes lab investigations and other methods to find out any other major illnesses.

Final disease diagnosis:

After doing all investigations the disease is diagnosed.

Remedial diagnosis:

This is the most importnant part as far as homoeopathy is concerned. For this the selected symptoms are arranged in a systematic order on the basis of importance.
symptoms are analysed to find out the importance of each symptom for the selection of a remedy.Remedies are selected on the basis of similarity.[the basic principle of homoeopathy is 'similia similibus curenter' means like cures like.A medicine which can produce some symptoms in a healthy man can be used as a remedy to trea the similar symptoms in a diseased person.Each homoeopathic drug is proved on healthy human beings and the symptoms collected by this process(drug proving) is written in meteria medica.]

Suitable remedies are diagnosed by a process called repertorisation. Here books called repertories are used. Repertory is the index of symptoms of materia medica(books which contain the symptoms of drugs).Nowadays computer softwares are used for repertorisalion.By this process we will get the remedies covering maximum important symptom of the patient.

Amoung this group of remedies the most suitable remedy is selected by referring various books and history of the patient..The selected medicine is given in suitable potency & dose.

ANTI MIASMATIC TREATMENT:

The root cause of disease is miasms which should be eradicated using suitable anti miasmatic drugs.Every drug can eradicate the miasm if there is symptom similarity.there are anti psoric drugs,anti syphilitic drugs and anti sycotic drugs.After diagnosing the miasm suitable anti miasmatic drug has to be given to complete the cure.

[In homoeopathy medicines are prepared from different sources like minerals, plants, animals, toxins, diseased parts ect. Medicines are prepared from these substances by a special process called potentisation.Here the soluble substances are potentised by diluting with spirit and insoluble substances by grinding with sugar of milk.The crude drug substance is first mixed with a calculated quantity of spirit and water and kept for few days .From this mixture extract is taken and is called mother tincture(denoted as Q).From this mother tincture dilutions are prepared by potentisation.Potentisation is a mathematical process by which the quantity of original drug substance reduces but medicinal power increases. Depending upon the ratio of quantity of drug substance and vehicle(spirit or sugar of milk)there are different scales for this process.Each scale has got different potencies which indicate power of medicine.Example in decimal scale 3x,6x.12x ect.in centisimal scale there is 30c,200c ect,in LM poteny there are 0/1,0/2,0/3 ect.potency is written after the name of every medicine]

Same medicine is available in different potencies. Suitable potency is selected according to so many facters like sevearity,depth of disease,condition of the patient ,nature of disease ,type of symptoms,age of patient and ect.

Some useful homoeo drugs for bad breath.

Arnica montana, Antim crude, Ars alb, Asafoetida, Aurum met, Baptisia, Bryonia,Borax,Calc carb, Carbo veg, Cinchona, Chelidonium, Graphites, Kali bich ,Kreosotum, Lachesis, Lycopodium, Merc sol, Natrum mur, Nitricum acidum, Nux vomica, Plantago, Pulsatilla, Phos, Pyrogen, Sulphur etc.

1) Arnica montana:

This medicine is useful for fetid breath.Mouth is very dry with thirst for water.Bad breath associated with fever.There is bleeding from the gum,may be after tooth extraction or after injury.Offenssive gas pass upwards and downwards from stomach.Petient is very sensitive to touch with sore and bruised feeling allover the body.

2) Antim crude:

Useful for bad breath with gastric complaints and coated tongue.This medicine act mainly on filthy persons with aversion to bathing.Tongue is coated white like fur.Nostrils and lips are cracked .Eructations are putrid.Very useful for badbreath in children

3) Ars alb:

All discharges are having cadeveric smell.Saliva is bloody with bad odor.Thirst for warm water is well marked. This medicine act well in debilitated and emaciated persons.Bad breath associated with gastric disorders.Vomiting from slightest food or drink and intolerance of vegetables and watery fruits.Mentally these patients are fastidious with an insecurity feeling.They are having fear of death or serious disease with restlessness and anxiety.

4) Asafoetida:

Useful for bad breath associated with eructations.Great distension of abdomen with sensation of a ball rising in throat.All discharges are offenssive.Reverse peristalsis with loud eructations.This medicine act well on hysterical persons.

5) Aurum met:

Useful for bad breath in girls at puberty. There is ulceration in gums with putrid or bitter taste. Destruction in body tissues like bone is noticed in these patients.This medicine act well on persons who are tired of life with suicidal thoughts.They also have a feeling that they have done an unpardonable crime.

6) Baptisia:

Breath fetid with bitter taste.Gums sore and ulcerated.Yellowish brown coating on centre of tongue with glistening edges.Surface of the tongue is cracked.These patients feel difficult to swallow solid food.Tonsils are enlarged without pain.Useful for painless tonsillitis & pharyngitis with putrid smell.All discharges are offenssive.This medicine act well on persons having besoted look.There is a tendency for stupor and delirium in these persons.

7) Borax:

Useful for bad breath associated with apthous ulcer in the mouth.Also effective for fungal infection of the mouth.Mouth is very hot and tender.Ulcers bleed on touch.Very useful for bad breath in children with ulcers in the mouth.Child is having fear of doward motion.

Bryonia:

Irritable persons who always talk about business.Lips parched dry and cracked.Tongue coated dark brown with bitter taste in the mouth.Thirst for large quantity of cold water is well marked.Heaviness in abdomen after eating.Usually constipated with hard dry stools.

9) Calcarea fluor:

Plugs of mucus are continually forming in the crypts of the tonsils.Unnatural looseness of the teeth with or without pain.Prone to get caries with discolouration.Tonsils are enlarged with recurrent infection.

10) Carbo veg:

These patients are weak and debilitated .All body discharges are profuse with cadeveric smell.Gums are retracted and bleed easily.Frequent putrid eructations with distention of abdomen.Complaints ameliorted by passing flatus.Can’t tolerate meat and fat.Involuntary diarrhoea at night.Wants to be fanned from a close distance.

11) Chelidonium:

Tongue yellow with imprint of teeth.Bad odor with bitter taste in the mouth.Useful for bad breath with liver complaints.Thirst for hot liquids.Patient feels better by eating. Constipation with hard round stools.Constipation alternating with diarrhoea.

12) Graphites:

This medicine act well on obese patients with skin troubles.Breath smells like urine.Rotten odor with salivation and blisters in the mouth.Sour eructations with gastric complaints.Skin complaints with sticky discharges.Gastric pain ameliorated by eating .

13) kali bich:

Bad breath with gastric ulcer.There are round ulcers in the mouth.Saliva viscid. Vomiting with bitter taste.Tongue is smooth .Craves bear.Gastric complaints alternating with rheumatism.

14) kreosotum:

Teeth dark and crumbly.Bitter taste in the mouth with putrid odour.Very rapid decay of teeth.All discharges are very offenssive.Gums spongy and bleed easily.Bad breath associated with caries and gastric complaints.

15) Lachesis:

This medicine act on dark restless patients with jelousy.Tongue is black coloured. Complaints are aggravated during sleep.Wants fanning from a long distance.Cannot tolerate tight cloathing around body.Complaints aggravated in hot climate.

16) Lycopodium:

Act well on intelligent people who are physically weak.They have lack of self confidence.Useful for badbreath associated with sour eructations with burning in throat. Teeth excessively painful to touch.There are blisters on the tongue.Wants warm food and drinks.These people are usually constipated .Craving for sweets well marked.

17) Merc sol:

Sweetish metallic taste in the mouth with bloody viscid saliva. Gum is spongy and bleed easily.Mouth is moist with increased thirst.Teeth indented. Crown of the teeth decay.Fetid odor from the mouth can be felt all over the room.Ulcerations in the mouth with bleeding.All body discharges are offenssive.All complaints are aggravated at night.

18) Nux vomica:

This medicine act well on people who lead a sedentery life.They are very short tempered and become angry very easily.They are very busy in their occupation and enjoy modern civilised life with all types of food and drink.Bad breath is more after meals and in the morning. Posterior part of the tongue is coated and anterior part is clean.Sour taste in the mouth with nausea in the morning.They have got frequent urge for stool.Heavy feeling in abdomen after food is noticed.

19) Plantago:

Dental caries with severe toothache.Pain better by eating.Salivation is better by eating. Toothache with swelling of gums.Gargling plantago Q is useful to get relief from toothache due to caries.

20) Pulsatilla:

Act well on mild and gentle ladies with a yielding disposition.Patient is very timid with a weeping tendency.Bad breath is noticed mainly in the morning.Mouth is very dry but dosn’t want to drink water. Yellow or white tongue covered with a tenacious mucus.Taste is altered.Taste of food remains in the mouth for a long time.Patient wash the mouth frequently.

21) Psorinum:

Act well on unclean patients with bad odor. Hawking up of cheesy, pea like balls of disgusting smell and taste is the main cause for bad breath in these patients.Tonsils are swollen with profuse offenssive saliva.Quinsy with tough mucus in throat.All body secretions are filthy.Eructations taste like bad eggs.Very hungry and getup even at midnight for food.Swallowing is painful with pain in ears.

22) Pyrogen:

Bad breath of septic origin is cured with this medicine.Taste terribly fetid with horrible breath,tongue red ,dry ,smooth asif varnished.Bad breath associated with high fever and coffeground vomiting. In general patients body is very sensitive to touch,can’t rest on bed because of bruinsed pain.All discharges are offenssive.

23) Sulphur:

This medicine act best on dirty & filthy people with offenssive odor and a tendecy for skin diseases.Lips dry bright red with burning sensation..Tongue white with red tip & borders.Bitter taste in the morning. Eructations are putrid.Burning in all parts of the body. Aversion to bathing is well marked.Not bothered about hygiene ,still they believe that they are having superhuman powers. These individuals are very selfish.

Some homoeo mother tinctures (Q) useful for bad breath.

[mother tincture should not be taken directly because it can produce burning sensation,hence 10 drops should be mixed in half glass of water and taken internally or used for gargling]

1) Cinnamon Q : This mother tincture can be used for gragling after diluting with water.Also useful for bleeding from gums.

2) Eucalyptus Q : This tincture can be used as a mouth wash after mixing with water.Internal use of this medicine can remove mucus from the respiratory tract.Also useful for cold and coryza.

3) Zingiber Q : Useful for bad breath associated with gastric complaints. This medicine can improve digestion.Also used for gargling.

4) Rhus glabra Q : Gargling of this tincture is very useful for ulcerative lesions in the mouth like aphthous ulcer.Internal use of this tincture can reduce the bad smell of stool & flatus.

5) Oleum caryophyllum Q : Gargling of this tincture can reduce toothache.Due to it’s fregrant quality very useful to reduce bad breath.

6) Balsamum peru Q : This medicine can remove the mucus from respiratory tract hence very useful in chronic bronchitis and lung abscess.Can heal the ulcers in the mouth by gargling this tincture,it can also produce pleasent smell from the mouth.

7) Menthol Q : This is a main ingradient in tonics and syrups.Gargling of this tincture reduces bad breath.

Now it is clear that if alcohol is a food, it will be found to contain one or more of these substances. There must be in it either the nitrogenous elements found chiefly in meats, eggs, milk, vegetables and seeds, out of which animal tissue is built and waste repaired or the carbonaceous elements found in fat, starch and sugar, in the consumption of which heat and force are evolved.

“The distinctness of these groups of foods,” says Dr. Hunt, “and their relations to the tissue-producing and heat-evolving capacities of man, are so definite and so confirmed by experiments on animals and by manifold tests of scientific, physiological and clinical experience, that no attempt to discard the classification has prevailed. To draw so straight a line of demarcation as to limit the one entirely to tissue or cell production and the other to heat and force production through ordinary combustion and to deny any power of interchangeability under special demands or amid defective supply of one variety is, indeed, untenable. This does not in the least invalidate the fact that we are able to use these as ascertained landmarks”.

How these substances when taken into the body, are assimilated and how they generate force, are well known to the chemist and physiologist, who is able, in the light of well-ascertained laws, to determine whether alcohol does or does not possess a food value. For years, the ablest men in the medical profession have given this subject the most careful study, and have subjected alcohol to every known test and experiment, and the result is that it has been, by common consent, excluded from the class of tissue-building foods. “We have never,” says Dr. Hunt, “seen but a single suggestion that it could so act, and this a promiscuous guess. One writer (Hammond) thinks it possible that it may ’somehow’ enter into combination with the products of decay in tissues, and ‘under certain circumstances might yield their nitrogen to the construction of new tissues.’ No parallel in organic chemistry, nor any evidence in animal chemistry, can be found to surround this guess with the areola of a possible hypothesis”.

Dr. Richardson says: “Alcohol contains no nitrogen; it has none of the qualities of structure-building foods; it is incapable of being transformed into any of them; it is, therefore, not a food in any sense of its being a constructive agent in building up the body.” Dr. W.B. Carpenter says: “Alcohol cannot supply anything which is essential to the true nutrition of the tissues.” Dr. Liebig says: “Beer, wine, spirits, etc., furnish no element capable of entering into the composition of the blood, muscular fibre, or any part which is the seat of the principle of life.” Dr. Hammond, in his Tribune Lectures, in which he advocates the use of alcohol in certain cases, says: “It is not demonstrable that alcohol undergoes conversion into tissue.” Cameron, in his Manuel of Hygiene, says: “There is nothing in alcohol with which any part of the body can be nourished.” Dr. E. Smith, F.R.S., says: “Alcohol is not a true food. It interferes with alimentation.” Dr. T.K. Chambers says: “It is clear that we must cease to regard alcohol, as in any sense, a food”.

“Not detecting in this substance,” says Dr. Hunt, “any tissue-making ingredients, nor in its breaking up any combinations, such as we are able to trace in the cell foods, nor any evidence either in the experience of physiologists or the trials of alimentarians, it is not wonderful that in it we should find neither the expectancy nor the realization of constructive power.”

Not finding in alcohol anything out of which the body can be built up or its waste supplied, it is next to be examined as to its heat-producing quality.

Production of heat.
——————

“The first usual test for a force-producing food,” says Dr. Hunt, “and that to which other foods of that class respond, is the production of heat in the combination of oxygen therewith. This heat means vital force, and is, in no small degree, a measure of the comparative value of the so-called respiratory foods. If we examine the fats, the starches and the sugars, we can trace and estimate the processes by which they evolve heat and are changed into vital force, and can weigh the capacities of different foods. We find that the consumption of carbon by union with oxygen is the law, that heat is the product, and that the legitimate result is force, while the result of the union of the hydrogen of the foods with oxygen is water. If alcohol comes at all under this class of foods, we rightly expect to find some of the evidences which attach to the hydrocarbons.”

What, then, is the result of experiments in this direction? They have been conducted through long periods and with the greatest care, by men of the highest attainments in chemistry and physiology, and the result is given in these few words, by Dr. H.R. Wood, Jr., in his Materia Medica. “No one has been able to detect in the blood any of the ordinary results of its oxidation.” That is, no one has been able to find that alcohol has undergone combustion, like fat, or starch, or sugar, and so given heat to the body.

Alcohol and reduction of temperature.
————————————

instead of increasing it; and it has even been used in fevers as an anti-pyretic. So uniform has been the testimony of physicians in Europe and America as to the cooling effects of alcohol, that Dr. Wood says, in his Materia Medica, “that it does not seem worth while to occupy space with a discussion of the subject.” Liebermeister, one of the most learned contributors to Zeimssen’s Cyclopaedia of the Practice of Medicine, 1875, says: “I long since convinced myself, by direct experiments, that alcohol, even in comparatively large doses, does not elevate the temperature of the body in either well or sick people.” So well had this become known to Arctic voyagers, that, even before physiologists had demonstrated the fact that alcohol reduced, instead of increasing, the temperature of the body, they had learned that spirits lessened their power to withstand extreme cold. “In the Northern regions,” says Edward Smith, “it was proved that the entire exclusion of spirits was necessary, in order to retain heat under these unfavorable conditions.”

Alcohol does not make you strong.
——————————–

If alcohol does not contain tissue-building material, nor give heat to the body, it cannot possibly add to its strength. “Every kind of power an animal can generate,” says Dr. G. Budd, F.R.S., “the mechanical power of the muscles, the chemical (or digestive) power of the stomach, the intellectual power of the brain accumulates through the nutrition of the organ on which it depends.” Dr. F.R. Lees, of Edinburgh, after discussing the question, and educing evidence, remarks: “From the very nature of things, it will now be seen how impossible it is that alcohol can be strengthening food of either kind. Since it cannot become a part of the body, it cannot consequently contribute to its cohesive, organic strength, or fixed power; and, since it comes out of the body just as it went in, it cannot, by its decomposition, generate heat force.”

Sir Benjamin Brodie says: “Stimulants do not create nervous power; they merely enable you, as it were, to use up that which is left, and then they leave you more in need of rest than before.”

Baron Liebig, so far back as 1843, in his “Animal Chemistry,” pointed out the fallacy of alcohol generating power. He says: “The circulation will appear accelerated at the expense of the force available for voluntary motion, but without the production of a greater amount of mechanical force.” In his later “Letters,” he again says: “Wine is quite superfluous to man, it is constantly followed by the expenditure of power” whereas, the real function of food is to give power. He adds: “These drinks promote the change of matter in the body, and are, consequently, attended by an inward loss of power, which ceases to be productive, because it is not employed in overcoming outward difficulties i.e., in working.” In other words, this great chemist asserts that alcohol abstracts the power of the system from doing useful work in the field or workshop, in order to cleanse the house from the defilement of alcohol itself.

The late Dr. W. Brinton, Physician to St. Thomas’, in his great work on Dietetics, says: “Careful observation leaves little doubt that a moderate dose of beer or wine would, in most cases, at once diminish the maximum weight which a healthy person could lift. Mental acuteness, accuracy of perception and delicacy of the senses are all so far opposed by alcohol, as that the maximum efforts of each are incompatible with the ingestion of any moderate quantity of fermented liquid. A single glass will often suffice to take the edge off both mind and body, and to reduce their capacity to something below their perfection of work.”

Dr. F.R. Lees, F.S.A., writing on the subject of alcohol as a food, makes the following quotation from an essay on “Stimulating Drinks,” published by Dr. H.R. Madden, as long ago as 1847: “Alcohol is not the natural stimulus to any of our organs, and hence, functions performed in consequence of its application, tend to debilitate the organ acted upon.

Alcohol is incapable of being assimilated or converted into any organic proximate principle, and hence, cannot be considered nutritious.

The strength experienced after the use of alcohol is not new strength added to the system, but is manifested by calling into exercise the nervous energy pre-existing.

The ultimate exhausting effects of alcohol, owing to its stimulant properties, produce an unnatural susceptibility to morbid action in all the organs, and this, with the plethora superinduced, becomes a fertile source of disease.

A person who habitually exerts himself to such an extent as to require the daily use of stimulants to ward off exhaustion, may be compared to a machine working under high pressure. He will become much more obnoxious to the causes of disease, and will certainly break down sooner than he would have done under more favorable circumstances.

The more frequently alcohol is had recourse to for the purpose of overcoming feelings of debility, the more it will be required, and by constant repetition a period is at length reached when it cannot be foregone, unless reaction is simultaneously brought about by a temporary total change of the habits of life.

Driven to the wall.
——————

Not finding that alcohol possesses any direct alimentary value, the medical advocates of its use have been driven to the assumption that it is a kind of secondary food, in that it has the power to delay the metamorphosis of tissue. “By the metamorphosis of tissue is meant,” says Dr. Hunt, “that change which is constantly going on in the system which involves a constant disintegration of material; a breaking up and avoiding of that which is no longer aliment, making room for that new supply which is to sustain life.” Another medical writer, in referring to this metamorphosis, says: “The importance of this process to the maintenance of life is readily shown by the injurious effects which follow upon its disturbance. If the discharge of the excrementitious substances be in any way impeded or suspended, these substances accumulate either in the blood or tissues, or both. In consequence of this retention and accumulation they become poisonous, and rapidly produce a derangement of the vital functions. Their influence is principally exerted upon the nervous system, through which they produce most frequent irritability, disturbance of the special senses, delirium, insensibility, coma, and finally, death.”

“This description,” remarks Dr. Hunt, “seems almost intended for alcohol.” He then says: “To claim alcohol as a food because it delays the metamorphosis of tissue, is to claim that it in some way suspends the normal conduct of the laws of assimilation and nutrition, of waste and repair. A leading advocate of alcohol (Hammond) thus illustrates it: ‘Alcohol retards the destruction of the tissues. By this destruction, force is generated, muscles contract, thoughts are developed, organs secrete and excrete.’ In other words, alcohol interferes with all these. No wonder the author ‘is not clear’ how it does this, and we are not clear how such delayed metamorphosis recuperates.

Not an originator of vital force.
——————————–

which is not known to have any of the usual power of foods, and use it on the double assumption that it delays metamorphosis of tissue, and that such delay is conservative of health, is to pass outside of the bounds of science into the land of remote possibilities, and confer the title of adjuster upon an agent whose agency is itself doubtful.

Having failed to identify alcohol as a nitrogenous or non-nitrogenous food, not having found it amenable to any of the evidences by which the food-force of aliments is generally measured, it will not do for us to talk of benefit by delay of regressive metamorphosis unless such process is accompanied with something evidential of the fact something scientifically descriptive of its mode of accomplishment in the case at hand, and unless it is shown to be practically desirable for alimentation.

There can be no doubt that alcohol does cause defects in the processes of elimination which are natural to the healthy body and which even in disease are often conservative of health.